Britney Emerges, Meets Up With Ex-Scrub

Britney Spears exited her house full of shame post-VMAs yesterday. She made her way to the lawyer’s office to go head to head with K-Fed over the kid situation. Can’t K-Fed just call up YouTube on his laptop, show her performance and say “so I get em’ full time, right?” This meeting was on lil’ JJ’s birthday, and unscheduled. Both and Brit and K-Fed are due in family court on Monday. Lil’ JJ was left at home to play with Mommy’s unemptied ashtray so don’t worry, he had a nice birthday. Maybe one of the butts was still smoking and he pretended it was a birthday candle.

The meeting was Spears’s idea according to a source close to her. “Britney asked for [the meeting]. She wants to put an end to this public debacle,” says the Spears source. “However, Kevin [has] refused. He needs more money so he’s determined to win this.”

Court documents released Aug. 30 show that Spears’s income is $737,868 a month and that Ferderline receives $20,000 a month in spousal support but has no “net income after business expenses.”

Get a job, sucka! A source close to K-Fed (probably K-Fed) says that this pressing for more custody isn’t a financial self-interest issue. Sure it isn’t. Those kids might as well be named “Cash” and “Check”! When the source (probably K-Fed) was asked if Brit was going to settle, the reply was “she might settle, she’s got stage fright”). He should write for this site. I’ve never written anything that funny.