Britney Attempted Suicide, On Watch While in Rehab

February 23rd, 2007 // 21 Comments

Good lord, it’s gotten so bad for this chick that even late-night talk show hosts are refusing to make fun of her . Now comes some scary reports that she was trying to kill herself . Ugh. She is reported to be on 24 hour suicide watch during rehab try #3 at Promises in Malibu.

“The source for Enquirer claimed, ‘After she shaved off her hair, Britney had a complete breakdown and tried to kill herself.’”

“A source told the publication: ‘Britney was crying and said she would kill herself if she lost the boys.’”

“Britney apparently tried walking directly into oncoming traffic, but a member of her staff grabbed her.”

‘During the night, she escaped and tried to walk into oncoming traffic. Britney said she wanted to kill herself. She later grabbed a bottle of Xanax and said she’d take the whole bottle – she didn’t care what happened to her.-

Ok, put down the Xanax. Put down the umbrella. Put down the clippers. Put down the tattoo needle. Put down the meth. Put down the liquor. Put down the coke. Put down the crazy. Put on the panties. Stay in rehab and get your shit together. We’re all behind you. We want you to get well, and be a good mom, and do whatever you want to do in life. We want you to be fabulous. Wow, that was stirring. I should be in a high school football movie.

(Image source)

By J. Harvey

  1. Trista

    You almost me tear with that one. Hang in there Brit Brit! We’re behind you all the way!

  2. Crazy about the girl

    She tried to kill herself?! For Christ’s sake, can’t this girl do anything correctly?

  3. LRM216

    You go, J. Harvey. you done good with this one!

  4. A

    Has anyone considered she may have post partem?

  5. Linda

    Well done J Harvey….it’s good to put the poison pen down when someone’s life is at stake. Let’s hope it’s not too late.

  6. Crazy about the girl

    I am just waiting to see the Baba Wawa interview where Britney will sob out of control and say that she has handed her life over to Jesus. However, this PR stunt will not erase the fact that she probably snorted Bolivian marching powder out of a Dominican tranny hooker’s ass at one point or another. But really who hasn’t?

  7. Traci

    Put down the crazy. Heh.

  8. Loob

    Better hope no one double-dog-dares her to do it. *eyeroll*

    I hate people who have children and treat them like occasional accessories.
    The same way P.Hilt puts her tiny dogs on the same level of importance as a handbag or bracelet.

    So I guess Britney’s kids clash with her ass, and when she was out night after night with her ass hanging out, the kids were hanging up in a closet somewhere?

    Not that anyone here needs to be schooled,
    but for Britney and her type: Children are ACTUAL HUMAN BEINGS, just like you, only smaller.

  9. “Tried to committ suicide”…and like everything else this chick has tried in the last three years, she failed.

    I know one thing…Britney Spears is not worth half the time or the energy wasted on her…they need to get those babies (and puppies) away from her and let her go on her merry way…eventually she’ll get it right and OD.

  10. Spit the gum out, darling, before your next
    t.v. interview.

    Why didn’t she just hop on Matt Lauers lap,
    and ask him about his new hair implants?

    Then she could have unbuttoned his shirt,
    and spit her chewing gum down into it.

    Now, THAT’S show biz.

  11. C. Nicks

    I typically don’t comment on things like this, but I really hope she gets her stuff together. I feel for her.

  12. Matt

    gimme a break. people who really want to commit suicide don’t “fail.” it’s not very hard to kill yourself.

    this is all for publicity, and it you can’t see that, you’re an idiot.

  13. ayenon

    i just laughed really hard and snorted some diet coke up the wrong pipe…man, put down the crazy? you fucking kill me j.

  14. J. Harvey, I Love You.

  15. Ashley

    I really like what you said at the end there. I was thinking the same thing, and couldn’t put it into words. Well articulated!

  16. Unknown

    She needs to take some freakin’ responsibility here! SHE is the reason things are the way they are! SHE married that parasite and SHE brought two little innocent lives into the world, and wasn’t all that concerned about them when her bare ass was running around with that other Paris-ite. Her career is gone because she was too busy making an ass out of herself to do anything worthwhile. And yeah, I believe this is all an attention getter. Everyone is all wrapped up in Anna Nicole’s circus, poor Brit wasn’t getting any attention….

  17. Judy

    You know I am really not one of Brit’s biggest fans but for heaven sake, look at her, she has really been through enough, she is in rehab to get help and to get away from everything, please for her sake and for the sake of her boys, leave her alone to get back on her feet, no matter how much I might not like Ol Brit, no one deserves to be hounded like this. She deserves to get better and keep her boys (away from that no good father of there’s) and if we leave her alone, she will get better and prove that she is a good mother.



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