Breaking News: Paris Hilton Going Back to Jail, Someone Finally Had A Lick Of Sense In Their Head

(Splash)

Paris is going back to jail . Good.

Paris Hilton was just ordered back to jail in Lynwood to serve out the remainder of her sentence! She’ll get credit for 5 days already served.

Hilton left the courtoom in tears, screaming, “Mom, Mom, Mom.”

One witness described the scene as: Paris was “physically escorted” out of the courtroom by a female deputy.

Jesus, you’d think this slut was boarding a cattle car to Dachau. Things were crazy at the house when she was dragged away.

According to Paris’ Moms, “it’s in God’s hands now.” I’m sorry, is she a f*cking astronaut? Is this the Apollo mission? Or is this a spoiled little heiress who might have to serve the correct amount of time due to someone realizing a HUGE mistake was made? I’m gonna go with the latter because she doesn’t look like Tom Hanks to me. Anyway, chaos reigned at the Hilton house and her mom acted like it was D-Day or something. Jesus, get a frame of reference you rich twat.

As a swarm of media watched, Hilton parted ways with her parents, Rick and Kathy Hilton, and her mother told reporters: “It is what it is and it’s in God’s hands now.”

She added: “It’s out of our hands. There’s nothing we can do.”

Asked how her daughter is faring, Kathy said earlier, “She’s doing the best she can.”

Paris Hilton was seen being handcuffed before getting into a police cruiser and was photographed crying in the backseat as she headed to court.

As the gates of the driveway opened, the scene was pandemonium, with the officers on their bullhorns and Hilton’s fans screaming.

I hope to God that the chick who released doves at the Michael Jackson verdict rolled up with some more birds. That was so hot. She should be at every gathering of loonies.