Breaking News: Paris Hilton Going Back to Jail, Someone Finally Had A Lick Of Sense In Their Head

June 8th, 2007 // 56 Comments


Paris is going back to jail . Good.

Paris Hilton was just ordered back to jail in Lynwood to serve out the remainder of her sentence! She’ll get credit for 5 days already served.

Hilton left the courtoom in tears, screaming, “Mom, Mom, Mom.”

One witness described the scene as: Paris was “physically escorted” out of the courtroom by a female deputy.

Jesus, you’d think this slut was boarding a cattle car to Dachau. Things were crazy at the house when she was dragged away.

According to Paris’ Moms, “it’s in God’s hands now.” I’m sorry, is she a f*cking astronaut? Is this the Apollo mission? Or is this a spoiled little heiress who might have to serve the correct amount of time due to someone realizing a HUGE mistake was made? I’m gonna go with the latter because she doesn’t look like Tom Hanks to me. Anyway, chaos reigned at the Hilton house and her mom acted like it was D-Day or something. Jesus, get a frame of reference you rich twat.

As a swarm of media watched, Hilton parted ways with her parents, Rick and Kathy Hilton, and her mother told reporters: “It is what it is and it’s in God’s hands now.”

She added: “It’s out of our hands. There’s nothing we can do.”

Asked how her daughter is faring, Kathy said earlier, “She’s doing the best she can.”

Paris Hilton was seen being handcuffed before getting into a police cruiser and was photographed crying in the backseat as she headed to court.

As the gates of the driveway opened, the scene was pandemonium, with the officers on their bullhorns and Hilton’s fans screaming.

I hope to God that the chick who released doves at the Michael Jackson verdict rolled up with some more birds. That was so hot. She should be at every gathering of loonies.

By J. Harvey

  1. cockroachqueen

    Well, I’m sure it’s not over yet…she’ll probably get a red pen, draw lines on her wrist and then her Celebrity Shrink will say “oh my god, she’s tried to kill herself”!!!!

  2. Tonysgirl

    Just serve the time for the crime, and get it over with. Simple as that.

  3. Sarah

    Oh dear god… Okay, I agree that this scabby c*nt is nothing short of a spoiled brat, but come on. Look at her. I have little sympathy for this girl but going to jail sucks harder than anything else, no matter how you’re treated in there. I would never laugh at someone crying so hysterically. I’m glad she’s going back and that justice is being served, but pointing and laughing at someone so visibly hurt is terrible.

  4. You know, I think she probably will have a mental break-down if she is made to serve her sentence.

    I don’t think “Paris” is an act. She genuinely doesn’t understand that she should be held to the same rules as “normal” people. I don’t think her giggling stupid routine is an act. I think she has the mentality of an 10 year old child who’s parents never taught her responsibility, accountability or respect.

    Who ever said the parents should be in the cell with Paris hit the nail on the head. Sometimes the worst thing for a child are it’s parents.

  5. Sarah, under normal circumstances I would agree with you, however, with the crop of young female celebutantes out there influencing our young girls, I’m thrilled to see Paris smashed to bits over the fact that she is not above the law as IMHO put so well. I like the fact that she’s become an object of complete ridicule. I hope it means that girls like my niece will find someone better to admire.

  6. green cardigan

    Has she no backbone at all? She should Shut the f up crying and making a fool of herself in public and just do her time. She might have got into some kind of a routine by now if she hadn’t come out. Zero pity for this slapper;

  7. LP

    I guess the “House Arrest” party she was planning for tonight has been cancelled.

  8. No justice no peace

    Hilarious, thanks for the perspective, JHarvey!

    So true, I agree that jail/court appearances are horrible experiences, but take it like a man at least. Gimme a break.

    Who’s going to punish the Sherrif’s Dept. for blatantly perpetuating this preferential treatment based on money and fame?

    Sheriff Baca should be held in contempt. Who’s gonna have the bollocks to make him pay? That’s what I want to see.

    And the whole phone appearance thing – that’s is RIDICULOUS!

    Also, those Hiltons should be glad that they don’t have REAL problems in their life. They’d never make it in a million years.

  9. John Throbs

    I hope the criminal justice system wrecks that stupid bitch. I hope she cuts her throat in jail.

  10. T-Bone

    Sarah, Did you actually just use the words, “scabby c*nt” to describe Paris Hilton and then ask us to be nice and have sympathy for her?

  11. green cardigan

    ha ha T Bone !good point

  12. Kare Bear

    MSNBC correspondent just said, “This is a great day for America, my faith and that of millions of other Americans has been resored in the criminal justice system.

    F–K this little witch’s nervous breakdown damn get a grip!! This is pathetic…the baby is bawling in the back of the cruiser mwhahahaaha good! I hope they take new mug shots too b/c even the original mug shots were a freakin mockery…the bullsh!t here is that her attorneys are already drawing up appeals paperwork. Shoot I’m glad today was a sick day for me I am drawn to this MSNBC!!!

    Hopefully justice will prevail!!!

  13. EFG

    We’ve refused to advertise with magazines that have featured her on the cover(we like to think better of our customers), and none of our employees stay at Hilton Hotels.

    The whole family is a gaggle of parasitic f*cktards stealing valuable oxygen from those of us who have to live in “the real world”.

    Pack the whole family into a Louis Vuitton steamer truck and scuttle it with the Titanic!

  14. shell

    Her parents SHOULD be locked up. They did a bang-up job raising her! What is she, about 26 or 27? And she’s essentially screaming: “Mommy” as she’s taken out of court?

  15. silvarga

    I also agree with IMHO,

    When I look at the pic of her bawling in the car and I read that her mother says “there’s nothing we can do, it’s in God’s hands”, and her reaction in court today I can understand that her whole world and the view she has of herself is crashing down around her. You know, like that sense of youth and immortality? Maybe she’ll finally understand that she’s is no longer a little girl. That Mommy and Daddy, status, and money can’t protect her from everything in the world. That she’s an adult can no longer simply cry, tantrum, or charm her way through a situation like a 9-year-old…

    I think (maybe even hope) that the scene in the police car was the last we’ll see of that spoiled little girl. Hopefully, like 5 years from now she’ll be on a Barbara Walters special where she’s handed that picture and Barbara says: “You’re such a different person now, but lets go back to that day when you were dragged into that police car…”

  16. Joya

    Oh happy day!!!

    I have no sympathy and I’m pissed that she’s acting like a spoiled brat fool! The other day I was passing the Hilton on 6th ave in midtown and this little girl was saying that she wished she and her family were staying there instead of the hotel they were staying at so she could be posh like paris. …the kids are watching.

  17. Go Paris

    I wonder how many of you b*tches reading this have actually served forty-five days alone for 23 hours of the day in a cell. Let’s see how some of you c*nts would do.

  18. lookwhaticando

    No its not funny to have to go to jail for anyone, but if others have to go for the same crime so should she. Who does she think she is?? Most people that have to serve 45 days could lose their jobs, Home, kids, She will be going back home to her millions. Yes in a since I feel sorry for her, but at the same time I want her to serve her time like anyone else.

    If they are going to let people off, it should be some poor slob that has to be home to work and feed their damn kids. And have money to pay the rent.

  19. See a satirical tongue-in-cheek graphic titled “The Big-Attitudes” which updates the Biblical Beatitudes to fit the Paris Hilton fiasco…here:

  20. Char

    “Jesus, get a frame of reference you rich twat.” LOLOL. Seriously… this is spot on. It’s not as though she’s being sent to the front lines on enemy soil. No one forced her at gunpoint to drive recklessly and with a suspended license. How is it that she acts as though she doesn’t deserve this?

    I don’t like all the photos of her crying because honestly, as much as I hate the way rich people act as though they rule the world, this probably IS the most traumatic thing that’s ever happened to her and I don’t like celebrating over someone’s pain. But she needs to grow the hell up and maybe this will make her realize the world isn’t all about her family’s money. But whoever said her parents should be in jail as well, I agree. If she could for five minutes see what it’s like to truly have to worry about how you’ll make it through the week financially, then she would do her time and be GRATEFUL and thankful that she’s got so much, and will simply return to all that when she’s out. I’d give me right arm to be in her position and I’d do it willingly, if I knew I was financially set for life like she is.

    Frame of reference, indeed.

  21. T-Bone

    I’m kind of with Sarah (MINUS the Scabby C*nt part, of course. Not really my style). But when someone is TRULY in crisis like this, it’s pretty sad and scary. This girl has NO idea how to live in the real world, and for the most part I blame her totally inept parents. Hopefully this time in jail will wake her up to the fact that she needs to grow up and act like an accountable adult

  22. lookwhaticando

    Go Paris said:
    I wonder how many of you b*tches reading this have actually served forty-five days alone for 23 hours of the day in a cell. Let’s see how some of you c*nts would do.

    Posted on June 8, 2007 04:15 PM


    There are people that do do it every day, And Paris is no different than them. Why should she get off, because she is rich??? Please give me a break.

  23. Kare Bear

    You know I find it hilarious that her mother said there’s nothing we can do it’s in God’s hands now…my mother said that when I was in the trauma unit and they didn’t know whether I was going to live after an accident.

    These self righteous pigs.

  24. ...

    “Also, those Hiltons should be glad that they don’t have REAL problems in their life. They’d never make it in a million years.”

    That was a great point. There are people with much bigger problems.

    It isn’t easy to go to jail but being in there for a month isn’t the end of the world. It’s not even like her sentence is unfair or that she’s been wrongly accused of doing something. When you break the law you should suffer the consequences.

  25. shell

    Well, no, I haven’t been in jail at all. B/c I haven’t freakin flouted the law and treated the roads like my personal playground. If I’m drunk and hungry I don’t hop in the car and hit In-N-Out. That’s how I’ve managed to stay out of jail like this idiot. Sorry if that makes me a b*tch. And no, I don’t feel bad for her.

  26. kelly

    lookwhaticando, you said it all for me! :D I was trying to come up with a response to Go Paris but you took the words right out of my mouth. Well said!

  27. TinMan

    Buh bye, see you in 42 days.

    (Unfortunately, I think this whole thing is going to make her even more famous for nothing.)

  28. Christine

    This is what comes from not reading your mail, apparently – when she appeared in court originally, Paris said that she didn’t know that she wasn’t supposed to be driving, despite two signed documents acknowledging that she understood that her license had been suspended. Did she honestly think that she’d be allowed to just sit in her 4,000 square foot house for 40 days, after the judge specifically said she could not be put under house arrest and was not permitted to do the electronic monitoring thing?

    I am sure she wasn’t feeling well in jail. I am sure she was very distraught, but last time I checked, most people in prison aren’t happy when they get there; they aren’t all released and permitted to sit in their mansions ordering food, having people over, etc. I am glad she is going back to jail…although I doubt that we’ve heard the end of this. I would bet money that she won’t have to serve her entire 45 days.

  29. Go Paris said:
    I wonder how many of you b*tches reading this have actually served forty-five days alone for 23 hours of the day in a cell. Let’s see how some of you c*nts would do.


    No, i’ve never spent 23 hours a day in a cell,

    i’ve also never driven drunk, driven with a

    suspended licence, wrecked while drunk, used the

    N word, made a porn tape….GET MY DRIFT????

  30. Rick in Toronto

    I have a feeling there is more going on here than people realize. Does she have addiction issues? Just asking. I’ve seen people like her on their way to rehab.

  31. shell

    Rick – good point – she is probably withdrawing from who knows what on top of being freaked out by being in jail. Still don’t feel bad for her, though.

  32. lookwhaticando

    kelly said:
    lookwhaticando, you said it all for me! :D I was trying to come up with a response to Go Paris but you took the words right out of my mouth. Well said!

    Posted on June 8, 2007 04:26 PM


  33. Sarah

    Sorry for the harsh words, but unfortunately, before this whole mess unfolded that’s exactly what I thought of her. And yes, I felt the need to point out that despite the fact that I think she’s a ridiculous and horrible example for young girls nowadays, thrashing her like this when she’s going through something that sucks (such as jail) is very sad. She’s not above the law and yes, she should be treated like every other person, but I honestly think it’s sad that she’s on such a spiral because of her own naive upbringing.

  34. OfAllThe DumbShitI'veSeenHere

    Go Paris said:
    I wonder how many of you b*tches reading this have actually served forty-five days alone for 23 hours of the day in a cell. Let’s see how some of you c*nts would do.
    Are you kidding me??? I know plenty of people who have been through things and done time and you know what Go Paris YOU DIRTY C^NT they DID their time, they didn’t have privledged accomodations or special treatment.

    They did their time and came out better people knowing that they had made mistakes and they paid their debt to society for it and they never wanted to go back again

    They did their time, they learned their lesson, there was no excuses.

  35. T-Bone

    Wow! I’ve never seen the C-word used so freely on this site.

  36. OfAllThe DumbShitI'veSeenHere

    T-Bone said:
    Wow! I’ve never seen the C-word used so freely on this site.
    T-Bone you’re hilarious…

  37. Kare Bear

    OMFG that bandwagon junkie Al Sharpton is holding a press conference this afternoon. Anything to get your face in the media huh Mr. Sharpton??

  38. Jesse D

    Ok, Go Paris – I’VE been to jail, for lying to a cop. I did the crime, did the time, didn’t have mommy & daddy try to get me off, or play crazy (not like anyone would have gave two shits anyway). Matter of fact they said it was my own fault. Damn sure learned that lesson, too. Woohoo and I WISH I had served it ALONE in a private cell…. No second chance, much less TWO like Paris. Yeah, I cried, and it was cold & the food sucked & the other inmates were SCARY. But I didn’t think it was unfair. You do the crime, YOU PAY THE TIME. Period. I don’t hate her or want more time for her than anyone else that breaks the law. Oh, and I was detoxing from meth at the same time. So yeah, SOME of us HAVE been there. And survived.

  39. Hm

    Im sort of glad shes getting justice, but I can understand. Im agreeing with people that are saying she doesnt know the “real world”. Shes been living in that bubble too long.

    And the people here being especially mean at her pain, if you had the money influence or power to get you out of this kind of situation, you would use it.

    I just sympathized with Paris Hilton. It is a dark day indeed.

  40. green cardigan

    Rick in Toronto -
    A 72 hour withdrawal in her cell was probably the mysterious medical condition that got her out. Imagine going cold turkey in a jail cell. That to most people would be a wake up call.

  41. Joya

    Go Paris Said:

    Go Paris said:
    I wonder how many of you b*tches reading this have actually served forty-five days alone for 23 hours of the day in a cell. Let’s see how some of you c*nts would do.

    Posted on June 8, 2007 04:15 PM

    Oh please! I didn’t… I also didn’t DRIVE DRUNK and then completley and pompusly defy my original punishment.

  42. Used undies

    So the sheriffs gave her brand new, packaged-up jail clothes and underwear when she was at Lynwood, but everybody else has to wear USED UNDERWEAR in jail? They even painted her cell too.

    Her family put $100 on all of the inmates’ individual accounts in her wing to buy stuff in the jail store! Must be nice. Hey, if this is something positive that they do, great! What a joke! Guess they were afraid somebody was going to beat her down in jail. Nice bribery action upfront!

  43. KARE BEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Al Sharpton????????? If he is defending this spoiled bigot, Gawddammit i’m moving! People in other countries must laugh their asses off when they read this crap. Check please!!!

  44. SincerelyReal

    Please tell me that this last post wasn’t true!
    Because if it is, I’m… I’m just f*cking speechless!
    New clothes, painted cell!
    Money to pay off the neighbors?

    Please tell me where this was posted because I want to know if it’s true.

  45. shadygoddess

    Paris’ parents should be in jail for so obviously abusing a person. How can you retain such a retarded outlook and mentality if your parents haven’t kept you locked away from life? It may have been a sparkly mansion full of material goods, but she hasn’t had an education, she hasn’t been taught responsibility, she hasn’t been taught fairness, she hasn’t been taught how to have safe sex, she hasn’t been taught sympathy, empathy…..ANYTHING!!!!!

  46. Go Paris said:
    I wonder how many of you b*tches reading this have actually served forty-five days alone for 23 hours of the day in a cell. Let’s see how some of you c*nts would do.

    Posted on June 8, 2007 04:15 PM

    ACTUALLY I HAVE BEEN IN PRISON TWICE!! In total I have served 3 months, apart from nearly getting murdered I did okay.

    I’m pleased Parasite is back inside, also pleased that the original 45 days is back on the menu. It’s a good day for me, screw you Parasite.

  47. T-Bone

    Not real fond of Al Sharpton. In fact, what are his credentials? Does the fact that he’s a “reverend” qualify him to hold press conferences? I think I’ll hold a press conference too.

  48. Alright Kare Bear, i’m staying!

    (sorry Claude!)

    “Today when Paris Hilton got sprung from jail 20 days early — from a sentence that was just half of what was originally imposed — the story turned out to be that Paris’ shrink went to the jailers and said she was about to have a nervous breakdown. So they let her go home early with an ankle bracelet. Sharpton immediately said there may have been racism involved here.

    Look, when he’s right he’s right. No matter what you think of Rev. Al, it is hard to imagine that anywhere in America a black woman is getting out of jail today because her shrink says she’s about to have a nervous breakdown. He says it wouldn’t happen, and I agree.”

  49. Kare Bear

    Ok OK here’s the update Al Sharpton is NOT I repeat IS NOT defending this little disease. Al Sharpton is bringing havoc, he was just on Hardball on MSNBC and he is very heavily responsible for the public outrage and questioning why she was not treated as other inmates in the case of whatever illness she had.

    There is so much that went on behind the scenes yesterday from what it seems, organizations and public interest groups I guess got involved and were screaming for this issue of her release to be corrected.

  50. T-Bone

    Then I guess Al’s complaint is a legitimate one. Paris is definitely getting special treatment. American justice system: the rich get richer and the poor get jail-time (wasn’t that a book?).

    At any rate, I’m still not fond of Al. Something about him makes me think camera chaser.

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