Brandon Davis’ Lindsay Lohan Diatribe

May 17th, 2006 // 51 Comments

We can only assume that by now, Lindsay Lohan gotten wind of the Brandon Davis’ tirade. How does word of someone calling your genitalia “skanky pussy” and claiming she has a “7-ft long clit” (we find that last one slightly hard to believe) not reach you. We also find it interesting that he’d rather sleep with Lindsay Lohan’s father, than with Lindsay Lohan herself (she’s probably actually releived by this statement). That Brandon Davis has such a way with words. Who else but a self-invovled slightly bloated wasted socialite could come up with such a clever phrase as “firecrotch.” Congratulations Brandon Davis, you’ve just given the Urban Dictionary a new word.

What will the fallout look like from all of this? Look for statements tomorrow from Lindsay Lohan’s people (outrage – I don’t know why Brandon and Paris hate me much), Dina Lohan’s people (outrage – may baby does not have a “skanky pussy”), Brandon Davis’ people (excuses – he was drunk), and Paris Hilton’s people (what else – that’s hot).

Brandon Davis Expresses Himself on the Matter of Lindsay Lohan [Gawker]

By Miu von Furstenberg

  1. sage

    Is anyone even proofreading the entries anymore?!

  2. susie

    For what its worth he didn’t make that up, I was called firecrotch by mean school children 15 years ago!

  3. woot

    Ummm….Firecrotch is so not a new phrase/word! He’s not as much of agenius as you make him out to be! Regardless — Brandon is so nasty — why does he ALWAYS look like he is greasy and oily!?? Sick. He looks like a eye make-up wearing, greasy pig! Sick, sick, sick!

  4. Brandon is a sick bastard

    I just want to throw up. No woman deserves to be devalued like that. I really feel for her.

  5. Cosina

    “sage said:
    Is anyone even proofreading the entries anymore?!”


  6. maggie

    He is a revolting, repellent, sweaty blob of flesh. And that’s BEFORE he speaks. Ugh.

  7. LMAO

    Susie, you were called a firecrotch lol ??!! Please tell me what that is. I dont mean to be rude, but I would really like to know. I assume it means you have a VD. Am I right ?? I’m not trying to put you out or anything, but what does it mean ???

  8. FunMe

    I didn’t know there was an “F LIST”

    Good to know it’s headed by a rich NOBODY by him.

    What’s his name again?

  9. Lizzy

    I agree with Comment #4:

    I have never been a Lindsay Lohan fan, but I’m firmly on her side on this. The only women who deserve to be degraded like this are Paris and her female hanger-on-friend who laughed like hyenas during his diatribe.

    I wish some reporter had the balls to ask Paris to her face about what she does to treat her herpes infection. She’s the real “firecrotch”.

  10. lolita0331

    7 ft. long clit?! Thats crazy. Is that even possible?! Damn.

  11. Juju

    Why no mention of the Hiltons’ role in this? Paris was standing behind him telling him what to say. Like the useless heir-brained inebriated moron he is, he parroted, and the Hiltons cackled.
    I’m no Lohan fan but at least she works for her $. These three have gone beyond reasonable and maybe, finally, the backlash will be such that we’ll hear no more about them.

  12. Juju

    From what I’ve read elsewhere, 7 ft is about 6 ft 10 inches longer than Brandon Davis’s.
    But his brain isn’t capable of coming up with this stuff – it came from Paris.

  13. Woot

    A firecrotch is someone who has red hair– and they are naturally red headed — so therefore have a firecrotch — does that make sense?? Red hair down there… hehe… Get it?

  14. Stewie Griffin

    this guy is a total fag…he’s a bloated, disgusting, douchebag….and here I thought Parasite was the lowest scum on the earth, this guy has issues, he’ll probably blame it all on being molested by his father or something.

  15. me2

    Childish, spoiled, insecure, achoholic/drug addicted, worthless, badly raised, poor excuse of a life…God, his parents must be just so proud…

  16. KKKK

    I was watchin that clip and to see PARIS and her friend laughing reminded me of the immature bitches that were in my school!!PAris is reallllyyy ugly poor thing, and she really thinks she is “Hot” ewwww, i have never liked paris and this makes me hate her even more GOD GROW UP UGLY NOSE

  17. woah

    give him a few years and he’ll be just another oily fat arab like his brother

  18. mamakraft

    Both Brandon and Paris are replusive. The fact that she laughs out loud at his comments puts her in about 8th grade — she knows that Lindsey will see it (along with the rest of the country) and she doesn’t care who she hurts. He is just a drunken, bloated, rich kids who will end up dying a tragic death in a really cool car. That sucks, but its the truth!

  19. Lena

    I’m sure that Brandon’s grandfather is rolling over in his grave. The sad thing, in a few years from now this is going to be one of those “huge regret” moments. Brandon and Paris have such class… all fourth

  20. Lena

    And you wonder why Graydon Carter banned her from the Vanity Fair Oscar party….. a hint of more to come if you ask me.

  21. chelsea

    I have got to say, over this and the last post, there’s been a lot of responding to Brandon’s nasty little attack by calling him a fag. Which i find unfortunate given that the outrage people are expressing is due to his attacks on Lindsay’s sexuality. I mean, really, what’s wrong with just saying he’s filthy chauvanist degenerate spoilt blight? i know ‘fag’ has some extra zing to it, but inking to his level and throwing sexual charges around unsubstantiated only makes us as bad as he (and i won’t even get into how we’re automatically aquating fag=bad). Sorry to take the glee out of the hate fest; do carry on! With modification. HATE HATE HATE.

  22. Naturalangel

    Wow! So that is what a human being acts like when they have unlimited amounts of money. I hope he makes it to rehab soon and is ready to become real when he gets there, because his tirade on video was pretty close to horrible. His grandfather Marvin wasn’t an angel, he was a superb conman and even sold Pebble Beach to a foreign country until Clint E. bought it back.

  23. Sarah

    It would be great if some guy hauled off and beat the mother fucking daylights out of this bloated brat.

    What man would ever be so rude as to take down a woman? Fat ass Brandon Davis, that’s who. Watching Paris sit there and laugh throughout his rant speaks volumes for her level of maturity and humanity.

    Dumb ass over-priveledged people in Hollywood. That’s all that can be said about this.

  24. Rob

    I don’t know this Misha Barton chick but if this is the type of guy she once dated, than I can’t imagine her being much better. Hate Paris, hate Misha and hate this fat, bloated piece of crap who has made a name for himself for nothing other than being a spoiled rich guy who sweets like bullets when coked out of his mind. Sad.

  25. Kay

    Word up Sarah! That greasy porker needs to get beat up!

    These insults mean little coming from a guy like him

  26. sophia

    firecrotch has been in rotation for years. any redhead knows the term.

  27. danny

    ok so like, first of all how perfect was it that lindsay lohan starred in mean girls. its like the point of reference for EVERYTHING!

    secondly, i agree basicly 95% with the fact that no woman should be degraded like that. i mean like, what could she have possibly done to deserve being talked about like that? personally, i love her. i think once she gets her shit straightened out her career is gonna like, sky rocket. but it could go the other way, too. i hope not because i really think shes a genuinly good person under all that.

    but the other 5% says anyone can say whatever they want. and when it comes to brandon davis being a fag ummmm he definetly acts like a total fag. i would think he was gay if i didnt know who he was in fact, i do think hes gay. a big fat sweaty fag.

  28. Leeanne

    I am no fan of Lindsey Lohan .. but I think she should sue his ass off. Now that would be funny.
    Slandering her in the media ( to that extent) is a hollywood lawsuit in the making :)

  29. jodroc

    i think his comments were gross and tasteless and showed that he is lacking both maturity and dignity and class.

    i am sure Lindsay is not blameless either.

    whatever…i still think he is sexy – great eyes and lips….does anyone else there agree with me? i am sure it is not as bad as one of my friends thinking K-Fed is hot!

  30. Tasannie

    I would love to see these people in a Brat Camp style program. I know there was some program where they filmed rich kids on horses or something like that…but I would really like to see them put through their paces in one of those detox/behaviour modification type programs where they don’t get out until they’ve demonstrated that they’ve matured enough to act like responsible adults.

    And how sad is it that a 20-something needs a damage control handling babysitter. Can’t you learn to act and behave responsibly…or is it just easier to have someone clean up after you? How good can you feel about yourself if you need that much help?

  31. mediaphyter

    Oh dear. “She’s only worth about $7 million. That means she is poor. It’s disgusting.”

    That’s not the worst of it, of course, but I found that to be incredibly vile on top of the other childish stuff that came out of his mouth.

  32. mm diet coke

    ugh, that was so foul. Brandon is a rude, spoilt little douchebag. Saything those things about anyone is revolting, but announcing it like that in a situation where he KNOWS the world will find out, is just sad. I really feel for the girl.

    Crapping on about her sexuality and what not was immature, inappropriate and disgusting. The rest of it was just as much a pile of trash though. I mean saying that she’s “only worth 7mil, that’s so poor” is insane, given that she’s wealthier than what percentage of people?? He has basically just insulted several billion people. Spoilt, ungrateful brat. At least she earnt her cash; she doesn’t have a rich daddy to cover her credit card bills. She wasn’t born into the world she now lives in- she got to where she is on her own.

    And Paris and him were snickering about her last movie bombing out or whatever- umm hello Paris, aren’t you desperately trying to become a movie star? What decent roles have you ever been offered? Everybody thinks she’s a complete joke and are constantly questioning why she’s even famous in the first place- if you could call it that.

    If they were hoping to lead a crusade against Lindsay or something, then they definitely went about it the wrong way. Nobody gives a shit about what they say as it is (I mean, who the fuck is Brandon Davis? What has he ever done??), but the garbage that came out of Brandon’s mouth was just dispicable, and Paris behaved like a complete moron. Any “fans” she has should watch this, and they’ll realise that she’s a cruel, pathetic excuse of a human being.

  33. Fat Retard

    FAT RETARD. Apparently, it runs in his family because his brother is HUGE.

  34. Alia

    That little rant was the most disgusting thing about a girl I think I have ever heard and I love how Paris’ rep said “well Paris didn’t say anything about Lindsay.” Give me a break she was there hysterical laughing about the whole thing. I hope Lindsay sues his rich ass and lines her quote “poor” pockets with his money.

  35. Small Fry

    Jodroc, I had to laugh at your comment about K-Fed. I find him a wee bit attractive when he’s not in his “trying to be black” mode. I told my friend and was laughed at hysterically. Still get teased.

    Anywho, I think Paris is immature and so is this idiot…..but I also think Lindsay deserves to be called a skank every once in a while. Knocks her back down to human level.

  36. tocutetoscoot

    He is an idiot. First of all it is not “fire crotch” it is “fire Pie” Second of all, the fat bastard has the nerve to talk about what Lindsey Lohan is worth (7 million) and say “she is poor and it is disgusting!” What an ass. Everyone knows that the only reason he has any money is because of his grandfather! His fat ass has never worked a day in his life so he is the poor one. Greasy pig!

  37. Bob

    HE doesn’t REALLY have money. HE lives off of HIS MOTHER on an ALLOWANCE. His FAMILY has money – HE DOESN’T!!!

  38. anti

    Call me stupid, but who is he? Why is he famous. Somebody let me know. I know he is born rich, but who is his family and why is he important?

  39. Denise

    Lindsay has more talent in her little finger than Paris does in her big gaping hole. Brandon is just a loser.

  40. chanelle

    Really… Could a REAL GUY speak like that to a woman? and who’s Brandon Davis? Paris Hilton looks like an ALIEN…

  41. J

    Well since I can’t stand Lindsay I find his rant to be funny. At least someone isn’t praising her. Oh and to whomever called him a fat arab he is actually Jewish (otherwise calling someone a particular ethnicity isn’t exactly insulting- and in any case, being a fat arab is better than being a poor hick).

  42. Zaffaris

    I found it rather interesting that this man is standing there making insulting comments about Lindsay’s genitalia while a woman who’s genitalia can be seen by anyone with $9.99 is laughing in the background.

  43. Honey

    No.38. You said, “Call me stupid, but who is he?’ A.: A NOBODY. If we have to ask who this tool is, then the answer is he is a no one and he is not important.

    and you said, “Why is he famous. Somebody let me know.” He is not famous, but he is famous now for being a vile and pathetic ass. When you lay down with dogs you get up with fleas, but in his association with Hilton, it is more like Herpes.

  44. Kim B.

    Caption: Ew…I’m Fat Bastaaaaard…I’m seeexxxxxeeey…you’re shite!”


    ok he’s a prick but most have us have been in a situation where someone is saying rude things, we are drunk and can’t help laughing even thogh we know we shouldn’t.

  46. sita

    funny stuff…

  47. politeness man

    immagine if you could wring all the cash from these two miscreants how many lives could be improved and maybe saved. what an embaressing waste.

  48. I heard he said she was poor too. It looks like this guy cant afford a haircut.

  49. Tash

    Seriously, however much you may or may not dislike Lindsay Lohan, NO-ONE should have to put up with stuff like that being said about them.

    But, erm…by the way, anyone who condones calling him a “fag” must be immensely homophobic. PEOPLE’S SEXUALITY DOESN’T MEAN THEY SAY NASTY, UNFAIR STUFF ABOUT PEOPLE.

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