Brad Pitt To The Most Beautiful Woman In The World: “Get Thee To Rehab!”

August 2nd, 2007 // 30 Comments

Angie’s really thin. “Experts” are saying she’s clocking in at around 98 lbs. These experts are probably bored people at home who are pressing pause on their DVR, studying her while scarfing a huge slice of Pepperidge Farm cake, and then entering a chat room to squawk about her. So, basically – me. Anyway, Brad is allegedly extremely concerned about Angie’s physical appearance and is urging her to enter a special rehab facility that deals with eating disorders.

“Brad seems worried sick about Angie, and he doesn’t know what else he can do,” a friend of the couple tells Star.

“At this point, I think getting professional help might be the wisest way to go. He didn’t want it to come to this, but going to a rehab center for eating disorders may be the best thing for Angelina.”

The Most Beautiful Woman In The World has blamed her skeletal appearance on the recent loss of her Mom to cancer. She has acknowledged that her nutritional habits went haywire and has said she’s working on it. But this has still allegedly led to fights between her and Brad who doesn’t want to sleep on a bed of bones. Everyone’s avoiding the real cause of this which is Jennifer Aniston’s Gypsy curse wherein she gently stroked a photo of Angie and hissed “thinner, thinner” over and over again. Then she had some SmartWater.


By J. Harvey

  1. Zekers

    Love the S. King reference J.-funny!

  2. Candy Apple

    The Most Beautiful Woman in the World? Gag me with a spoon, please. It’s all in the eye of the beholder, and when I look at Saint Angelina my eyes behold an odd looking, gangly, skeleton with fish lips and eyes that want to consume your soul in a very bad way.

  3. nastybugger

    glad to see I’m not the only one who got the Stephen King (or, more accurately, Richard Bachman) reference.

  4. JB

    I think it heroin!

  5. erika

    If Jennifer wanted to put a curse on Angelina, she would have wished her fat. Jennifer wants to be the skinny one.

  6. woohoo

    I agree with JB ..
    She’s a tweeker

  7. T-Bone

    Wow! Someone finally realizes that this woman needs mental health help. IT’S ABOUT TIME!

  8. Lisa

    I freaking loved that movie!!!! Great reference!!!

  9. Claire

    Those Pepperidge Farm cakes are worse than heroin. I wish I could put those cakes in my arm and call it a day.

  10. Zekers

    …don’t get your hopes up T-Bone-it’s Star Magazine after all…

  11. T-Bone

    True Zekers! It is Star magazine, so I am skeptical; however, it sounds like the truth to me and fits right in with the BPD possibility. I hope she gets the help she needs, in order to stay healthy for those children. If this is true and Brad’s finally waking up, I commend him.

  12. green cardigan

    I just want to know who this ‘source/friend/ insider’ is, who’s giving this info to the press. She’s leaking like a rusty tap.

    I reckon it’s Jane Pitt. Boy, she must have great ears to be able to hear all that from up in the attic…..

  13. T-Bone

    I don’t think they keep her in the attic anymore, Green. I think they have her locked up in the pantry, and she’s eating all of Angie’s food.

  14. green cardigan

    In the pantry ! Hissing and saying ‘precious, my precious’…God, she’s a terrible woman. Jane
    I mean.

  15. Angietothemax

    I agree Angie needs to put on 10 to 15 pounds stat! However, I don’t think this story is true. Where are they anyway? They’ve been out of sight but not out of mind for about a week. She starts work again soon in Chicago for 3 weeks. Then Brad is supposed to film his movie at the end of August. Then Angie films in November for 3 months. Then Angie will take her much anticipated year off.

  16. Kare Bear

    T-Bone & Green you two are hilarious with your references to Jane.

  17. lookwhaticando

    Though Angie needs to gain some weight, like yesterday, I don’t believe this story, or much of anything else I read about this couple

  18. peachpie

    ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…. the smell of a fresh brangelina board in the morning. nuttin’ like it.

  19. pfft

    so the only thing you guys know how to do is repeat tabloid stores. What kind of a person actually read and believes tabloids? I guess you and your readers.

  20. green cardigan

    pfft – you are also a reader. Maybe a Non Believer, but a reader all the same. Come over into the light and believe ! It’s easier that way!

  21. Zekers

    …you mean those tabloids don’t tell the truth? *Gasp*
    Thank you for the valuable information pfft.

  22. Stinky Minky

    Waitaminute… Rehab for eating disorders or HEROIN?!

  23. Michele

    While I do think Anjolina is too thin I don’t really buy the eating disorder theory. Has anyone seen how many kids they have (( 4 ))…all under the age of 6 yrs!! Running after and taking care of all of them will bring off the weight! Why does everything have to be blow out of proportion?

  24. jannre

    Maybe its her brother James whos spilling the beans, hes done it before…she does look really bad.

  25. Said it once, and i’ll say it again.

    She doesn’t have an eating disorder. She has an injecting/snorting disorder.

  26. pfft said:
    so the only thing you guys know how to do is repeat tabloid stores. What kind of a person actually read and believes tabloids? I guess you and your readers.


    Dear Pfft,
    If you want people to take you seriously, change your screen name from the onomatopoeia for a dry fart.

  27. Touché

    I can’t believe this mess! The STAR has been picking on Brad and Angelina for weeks now. They have a new female editor and she seems to be going after the jugular. The stories are overwhelmingly negative about Brad and Angelina. They are trying their hardest to stir up trouble.

    Angelina doesn’t want to be weak like her mother. She wants to be strong and brave all the time. Becoming an anorexic would bring her pity. The last thing she wants is pity. Jolie likes to be revered and noticed for her strength. Having an eating disorder is against what she stands for.

  28. Patty

    HaHaHa…this is pure B.S.!! Angie is back on Heroin, and that is why she’s been losing weight and not wanting to eat….her brother said in an interview that her extreme weight loss began “immediately after the birth of Shiloh” Whew, no more preggers, gimme my drugs!!!

  29. wakeup123

    Angie is riding the horse and it aint Brad

  30. unk

    and when did mums pass on… ley’s get real here how close was she and she knew that this was happening… ever hear of hospice

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