Beyonce’s Wedding, As Described By The Florist

April 9th, 2008 // 3 Comments

Joining Dykes on Bikes after you just married a dude is a weird move, but celebrities are confusing.

Someone’s breaking their confidentiality agreement! The florist from Beyonce and Jay-Z’s wedding is speaking up and ruining their marketing plan! Florist Amy Vongpitaka, owner of Amy’s Orchid’s in NYC, is running her mouth about how the flowers went.

“It made the apartment like a heaven, like a palace,” says Vongpitaka. “You walked in, and it was all flowers — everything white and creamy.” White and creamy wedding? Uh, ok. Vongpitaka says the couple ordered over 750 lbs. of flowers.

Beyonce specifically requested foot long garlands to hang around Jay-Z’s crib, according to the florist. She was only given “one week’s notice” before the nuptials.

Beyonce’s going to read this and this bitch will never work again. Beyonce might already be emotional, due to her possible pregnancy. She won’t sit for this. Amy will be selling flowers out beside her van on Easter. She’ll be the woman sitting on the old boom box, holding roses and working a crazed look.


By J. Harvey

  1. peachpie

    i’m not buying it. at all.

    look at her fingernails. they’re, uh, blue. which i SUPPOSE could be a bride’s choice (not likely, but for the sake of argument). but on top of them being dark blue, they’re all ratty! the polish is chipped off around the top edge, as well as the bottom edge. she needs a fill and new paint, pronto. surely she didn’t get married with her hands looking like that.

    i’m no ‘hand freak’, but dayum, get a mani/pedi before the wedding. sooooooooo, i say it’s all a setup. joke’s on us.

  2. Lala

    So I’m thinking she wore the gloves to hide whether or not shes actually wearing a ring. that way we still don’t know if it happened or not

  3. samatha

    i want to see you

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