Benedict Cumberbatch Apparently Has A Girlfriend, So It’s Time For ‘Those Cumberbitches To Move On’

Benedict Cumberbatch Gifs
Because even Benedict is better in GIF form!
Listen, those are no my words. Those are the words of Rebecca Eaton, executive producer of Masterpiece Theatre, or as I like to call her, professional dream crusher.

While we’ve long suspected that Benedict Cumberbatch has a girlfriend, the news was pretty much confirmed by Rebecca in a recent Page Six story. Apparently, “She wouldn’t say whom the Sherlock actor has met, but she said it’s time for all those ‘Cumberbitches’ — the name used by his huge base of female followers — to move on.”

Noooooo!!!!!! 

But he was supposed to marry me and then Benedict, Orlando Bloom and I would have a super inappropriate, torrid love affair! Also, is anyone else impressed that his supposed lady has been so quiet about it herself? Like, if I was dating Benedict, I would 100% be spreading that shit all over my social media platforms.

Then again, maybe that’s why we aren’t dating. Ugh. Next the world is gonna tell me that Tom Hiddleston also has a secret girlfriend and that Orlando and that boring actress really are an item. I can’t deal with his!

Anyway, who do we think this new girlfriend is? Celebitchy is looking at the blonde girl he was hanging out with at the Grand Prix, and I have to agree. Well lady, whoever you are, congratulations. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be over here crying into a pint of Häagen-Dazs coffee ice cream and staring at photos of Benedict and Orlando I photoshopped together to help me get through this.