Benedict Cumberbatch Apparently Has A Girlfriend, So It’s Time For ‘Those Cumberbitches To Move On’

June 18th, 2014 // 3 Comments
Benedict Cumberbatch
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Benedict Cumberbatch At 'Star Trek Into Darkness' Premiere
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Listen, those are no my words. Those are the words of Rebecca Eaton, executive producer of Masterpiece Theatre, or as I like to call her, professional dream crusher.

While we’ve long suspected that Benedict Cumberbatch has a girlfriend, the news was pretty much confirmed by Rebecca in a recent Page Six story. Apparently, “She wouldn’t say whom the Sherlock actor has met, but she said it’s time for all those ‘Cumberbitches’ — the name used by his huge base of female followers — to move on.”

Noooooo!!!!!! 

But he was supposed to marry me and then Benedict, Orlando Bloom and I would have a super inappropriate, torrid love affair! Also, is anyone else impressed that his supposed lady has been so quiet about it herself? Like, if I was dating Benedict, I would 100% be spreading that shit all over my social media platforms.

Then again, maybe that’s why we aren’t dating. Ugh. Next the world is gonna tell me that Tom Hiddleston also has a secret girlfriend and that Orlando and that boring actress really are an item. I can’t deal with his!

Anyway, who do we think this new girlfriend is? Celebitchy is looking at the blonde girl he was hanging out with at the Grand Prix, and I have to agree. Well lady, whoever you are, congratulations. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be over here crying into a pint of Häagen-Dazs coffee ice cream and staring at photos of Benedict and Orlando I photoshopped together to help me get through this.

By Sabba Rahbar
asl

  1. Maria

    The blonde women who was with him at the Grand Prix is Kinvara Balfour

  2. Hilde

    IMO the blonde women who was with him at the Grand Prix and the blond lady who had lunch with him are not the same persons, they´ve only the blonde hair in common…

  3. Rebecca

    I find the comment about ‘moving on’ quite condescending. Where would Mr Cumberbatch be if all of his fan base ‘moved on’ and took their money with them?

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