Barron Hilton Won’t Be Needing That Valet

April 9th, 2008 // 2 Comments

Paris Hilton’s dumbass brother Barron pleaded no contest to a DUI charge and got his license suspended for a year as a result. He also received three months of probation and has to take an alcohol education program. Here’s your first lesson: hire a car! You’re rich, dummy!

Barron was pinched on Feb. 12 for driving with a blood alcohol level of .14 — nearly twice the legal limit. He also didn’t have a license on him.

If I had this hammerhead’s money, I’d never DRIVE AGAIN. I’d drive around in a luxurious living room on wheels. Scratch that. I’d have a bed back there to lounge on, and eat chocolate and grapes until I got to my destination! If you have a chauffeur-driven bed on wheels, you can get drunk all you want! And nap! And watch Battlestar Galactica! And entertain frat boys hard up for cash. What?

Photos: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com

By J. Harvey
asl

  1. In the know

    FYI: this particular branch of the Hilton family is not as wealthy as they would have you believe…..

  2. mel

    i love taking cabs when i travel for work b/c i know i’ll get paid back for it. town car to the airport? yes, please!

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