Babies Were A Birthin’ Over The Weekend

We had a couple of celeb births this weekend. Salma Hayek and her GIGANTIC bosom heaved forth a baby she co-created with an old but insufferably rich French guy.

Valentina Paloma Pinault, daughter of Salma Hayek, 41, and her fiance François Henri Pinault, was the first lil’ one to hit the scene. The ‘Ugly Betty’ creator is “doing well,” her rep told

Seriously, what’s with that engagement? He’s using a walker and I swear to God she’s way into Penelope Cruz. Which is a hot coupling. Despite not being able to understand a word Penny says. Oh, and singer Charlotte Church and her seriously hot rugby playing boyfriend had a kid, too.

A baby girl for Welsh singer Charlotte Church, 21, and her boyfriend, Gavin Henson. According to Church’s official Web site, the couple opted for a home birth and the new mom and baby are “doing just fine.”

They had a little girl named Ruby, and it must have been a relief because “home birth” reflects what size she was when she gave up the baby. HUGE. Damn, imagine having to waddle around with that stuck in you? I don’t know how you ladies do it. I get a hangnail and I run to the ER. A friggin’ human being in my gut for nine months? F*ck that.