ASL’s Letter From The Editor, Lisa Timmons

State of the Blog Address
Hey kiddos. So, as you may or may not know, Posh Spice’s NBC special pretty much tanked. And I totally watched it and have to agree that it was slightly more entertaining than watching paint dry. Which was sad for me, since I actually was hoping that the the show would be filled with some campy, self-deprecating goodness that I could enjoy, much the way one enjoys a perfectly toasted pop tart–with a tall glass of milk and a smile. Alas, it seems that Posh wasn’t quite as interesting as I had hoped. She did a lot of prancing around in high heels with wide eyes, pretending to be a lot less self-aware than she actually is.

Upon interviewing her assistant-to-be, she opens the door wearing a one-piece bathing suit with a built-in push-up bra, high-heels and large, dark sunglasses and quickly escorts the nervous interviewee out to the pool, where they conduct her job interview as Posh stretches out on a chaise. The problem with the show lies in Victoria’s inability to decide if she’s going to be the down-to-earth mum and wife who’s just so surprised at her good fortune, or if she’s a vampy metropolitan figure quick to offer fashion tips that sound more like backhanded advice.

More on Lisa’s take on the recent British invasion after the jump…

My interest in the Beckhams is inexplicable, but maybe makes some sense, considering the fact that we are currently in the midst of a British cultural invasion. Well, not really, but I like making dramatic statements like that, so humor me, won’t you? Amy Winehouse is dominating the music charts, Lily Allen is revealing nipples to the world and I’ve recently discovered my obsession for Katie Price (AKA Jordan) and Peter Andre.

Now, those two know how to make a reality show. I’ve been watching clips of their series from England, “The Next Chapter,” and I have to say, they might be able to deliver what Posh and Becks aren’t capable of doing–a show that’s actually entertaining. The difference between Jordan and Posh (the clear rulers of each relationship) is that Jordan has no problem letting it all hang out, both figuratively and literally. Even though she’s made her money by building an image of sex and airbrushed perfection, on her reality show with Peter, she has no qualms whatsoever being filmed in an unflattering light, without make-up and just bopping around the house in sweats. There’s something endearing about her commitment to the “reality” aspect of reality television, whereas Victoria Beckham is so carefully constructing a picture-perfect image that it’s hard to get emotionally invested in anything that she’s saying, since it all sounds so damn scripted.

All in all, I guess I’d have to say that my favorite ladies, British or otherwise, are a bit on the ballsy side, have no problem speaking their mind and can be more than a little bit messy at times. But that’s why I love ‘em. I was hoping that Posh might reveal a bit more than just a sliver of well-tanned leg on her show, but it was a disappointing attempt at portraying a reality that I’m pretty sure doesn’t actually exist. Sorry, I only enjoy fakeness when it’s in enormous boobs.

This letter made no sense. But at least there’s a video. Yay!

Yours truly,
Lisa T.
A Socialite’s Life

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