State of the Blog Address
The problem with being a gossip blogger is that celebrities don’t care whether or not you’d like to enjoy a three-day weekend, or if you happen to be sick when they are out making news. They don’t ever think to themselves, “Hey, is my nervous breakdown going to be inconvenient for Lisa Timmons.” And it’s really quite sad that they give us so little consideration, since we pretty much schedule our whole lives around their activities. But hey, I’m not complaining. Oh wait, that’s exactly what I’m doing.
Let me just start off by saying, you all know I’m going to be talking about Britney Spears, bless her heart. Despite all my smart-ass, obnoxious comments, I really do feel for the woman. She seems to be stuck in a very weird place, emotionally, and I’m hoping that she gets the treatment she needs to get her life back on track. But I’m not gonna lie–I kind of wished she could have held off the crazy for another week, cause I’m pretty sure my voice would be less tranny-like at that point.
More of Lisa’s squawking after the jump…
See, I got hooked up with an interview as a “celebrity blogger” for the local L.A. news again this week and as a result of the cold I’ve been fighting since the weekend started (God hates me, and with good reason), my voice has deteriorated past Scarlett Johansson huskiness into the depths of manliness that I’m sure my boyfriend is loving at this moment. And with me lurking around my apartment with my Breathe-Right strip knock-off on my nose, I wouldn’t be surprised to find out he feels like he’s dating a waifish linebacker. So yeah, I’m on the news sounding like a man-woman with strong views on celebrities. Whatevs. At least my hair was kind of rockin’.
Back to Brit. Everybody’s got some strong opinions on the situation, as well they should. Personally, I think she needs to move out of L.A. yesterday. Granted, the paparazzi will probably follow her somewhat, but at least she can try and live somewhere where TMZ isn’t posted up on every street corner.
And then there’s the whole Anna Nicole legal disaster, which is totally raging against the dying of the light, even if her spirit isn’t. (See that? That reference was the extent of my literary background. Hope you enjoyed it, cause that’s all I got.) It’s just depressing, but kind of hopeful in the sense that the courts do seem to actually be making some kind of progress towards getting her buried and for God’s sake, will Howard K. Stern HAVE THAT DNA TEST ALREADY? Shady.
Despite the tragedy and the drama, I am actually getting excited for the Oscars. I can’t wait to find out who will get the Hollywood equivalent of prom king and queen. Good luck to all the nominees and all that jazz. Seriously, though, I’m just super-psyched to be getting some pre-Oscar swag for the first time in my life. It’s truly a moment for the baby book.
In any case, if you happen to catch a cold while reading the blog, I’m sorry. It’s totally my fault cause I think I’ve probably sneezed over every post I’ve written and I may have “accidentally” licked a couple of links here and there. But it’s only because misery loves company. And that’s why I’ll soon be joining Britney when she enters rehab for the third time (I’m trying to be ahead of the game here). To figure out how to kick the Vick’s VapoRub addiction I’ve been quietly cultivating for the past few days.
Big hugs and contagious kisses,
All chicken soup (laced with either fresh garlic and/or arsenic) should be directed to firstname.lastname@example.org.