ASL’s Continuing Coverage of Britney Spears’ Meltdown 2007 Continues…

(Splash)

Sorry I haven’t posted anything on Britney for a couple of minutes, I was busy crying and shaving my legs by the pool (?!?). Anyway, as of right now – Britney has fled rehab in Malibu. Allegedly, her credit cards have been frozen by her family so she can’t accquire any more body art. K-Fed isn’t letting her see the kids. He can’t see them either, because that stripper keeps blocking his view. And Britney’s obtained the services of a lawyer famous for bringing suits against paparazzi. Seeing as her accounts are frozen, I’m guessing the lawyer didn’t receive a retainer today. Do you take check?

Oh, and a former nanny is COMPLETELY giving up the scoop .

“Britney didn’t ask me one thing about my child-care experience. She only wanted to know about my personal life.”

“The agency that called me emphasized that Britney was looking for a nanny who was young and hip because they wanted her to interact with people her own age. Basically, Britney wanted a friend.”

“One nanny told me that Britney will hold her kids for 10 minutes and then say, ‘I’m done now. You can take them.'”

I so could have swung a job as her nanny. I think I could have shown up toting Nambla newsletters and a hatchet and she would have handed the kids off to me so she could eat some Little Debbies. Anyway, that’s the scoop for now. Stay tuned as our continuing coverage of Britney Spears’ Meltdown Apocalypse 2007 continues. I’m wearing an electric blue wig!