Lance Armstrong’s Midlife Crisis Continues

November 8th, 2007 // 15 Comments

Lance Armstrong is still astride his new bike – Ashley Olsen. These two have been running around NYC making the locals sick with their lack of anything in common and fifteen year age gap. Who cares about the age gap, can any of you imagine this chick going for a bike ride? “Does it have a motor? Who makes it go? Me? Uh, these are really expensive shoes.”

The new couple was spotted at New York hotspot Rose Bar on October 29 by an eyewitness who tells Us Weekly, “they were being very flirtatious.” The next night, the May-December duo took in Broadway play Young Frankenstein before dinner and wine at the Waverly Inn.

And while Armstrong prepped to run last Sunday’s New York City Marathon, the lovebirds shacked up at luxe hotel Soho House, where they both had booked rooms.

Sources tell Us, however, that Olsen shouldn’t let herself get swept away by the whirlwind Big Apple romance. “Lance is a candidate for a midlife crisis,” says a source close to the divorced father of three.

That source was Sheryl Crow. Seriously, though, this guy goes through women like water through a faucet. Sheryl Crow must be at home all “that bitch” and she’s not thinking about Ashley. She had that guy’s rock on her finger for a couple of seconds and now he’s running around the Village with some freaky troll millionairess? I’m sure most of your adult contemporary stations will be playing a song by Sheryl about this mess in 2008.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin Online

By J. Harvey

  1. Zekers

    “Lance Armstrong is still astride his new bike – Ashley Olsen.” Great lead in J.!

    Why do those Olsen girls always look dirty, like they could use a good scrubbing with a stiff brush?

  2. James

    Those pics are of Mary-Kate.

  3. nastybugger

    This relationship perplexes me to no end. The age difference is one thing. But what about the lifestyles? He’s Mr. Healthy Athlete, and she smokes like a chimney.

  4. meg

    I don’t think the age difference is a big deal, her last boyfriend was about 30.

  5. Jennifer

    They are the most mismatched couple! It’s probably one of those “I’m excited to be with my exact opposite because it’s novel” things that will die out shortly when it stops being novel and starts getting irritating.

  6. shooshoobaby

    Lance Armstrong is a pig. A performance enhancing using pig.

  7. Karen

    Don’t throw rocks at me but I don’t have a problem with this pairing. Obviously, they won’t be walking down the aisle…ever! But she’s 21-22 years old and should be banging whomever she wants. He’s trying to play young and let him look like a fool doing it. I hope that Lance’s ex Tory Burch comes to the realization that he wasn’t right for her in the first place.

    In my experience, men who actively pursue much younger women are only looking for a good time. Let them have fun…nobody’s getting hurt.

  8. JC

    Ashley, run, baby, run. He’s a media ho.

  9. so you know…. Lance’s nick name on the bike circuit used to be FED EX, before he got cancer.

    “For when you absolutely need it over night”.

    (for those that are too young, that was FedEx’s slogan for a long time)

    He’s always been a tramp

  10. Applespice

    Karen- I think you summed it up quite well.

  11. amle

    I hope Lances’ midlife crisis doesn’t end with him having a b-itchy, narcissistic, slutty girlfriend, 3 adopted “we are the world” kids, and a bastard child named blob.
    Midlife crisis can be a b-itch!!!

  12. green cardigan

    you know those little bags that often hang from the back of a saddle on a bike? For keys and small change ?

    I can see Ashley fitting in there very comfortably when Lancelot goes for a bike ride.

  13. angeline

    Those pictures are of Mary-Kate. It’s sad that I know that.

  14. stolidog

    too bad he’s into 3-somes with Matthew McConaughey and Jake G. I guess Ash can join in, she’s so small they won’t even notice her.

  15. Commetsareforlosers

    shooshoobaby, eat poop and die? where’s your proof!! get a life you idiot!! lucky Lance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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