That Is Not An Engagement Ring On Ashlee Simpson’s Finger

January 3rd, 2008 // 4 Comments

Despite rumors, Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz aren’t betrothed. “She is not engaged!” screams her representative. Damn, calm down. We weren’t that excited about it. The rumor spread after Ashlee was photographed in Miami on NYE rocking this ring you find in one of those quarter machines in the foyer of Rite-Aid. You can also get Super Bounce Balls and Bratz keychains there. He makes enough money to equip her with diamonds, so I’m a little disappointed in him. Pete says that he’s “past the honeymoon stage” with Ashlee and that it’s “crazy to be able to kiss your best friend. It’s an awesome thing.” I’m going to wager that he’s kissed a best friend before, and that the friend wasn’t always female. I’m into it, but don’t hate on me for saying it. He wears way too much make-up to not be a bottom once in awhile.


By J. Harvey

  1. Persistent Cat

    If she would just fix her posture, her chin wouldn’t be so frighteningly pointy. And take off the damn Led Zeppelin t-shirt. I’m sure the only song she can name is Stairway to Heaven.

  2. vtx

    She probably doesn’t even know Stairway to Heaven, and she reminds me of Herbert on Family Guy with that terrible chin. Someone needs to hack off Wentz’s right arm. I can’t go out with my Jack Skellington shirt from 1995 without these little poseur emo and goth kids going apeshit over how awesome it is. Yes, I know it’s awesome, but it’s because TNBC is my favorite movie… I don’t wear it for the sake of being trendy with Hot Topic.

  3. Nanc'

    Why would anyone think that plain band is an engagement ring?

  4. mg

    That bi*ch has no idea who Led Zepplin is !!

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