Angelina Jolie’s Pregnancy Is A Little Complicated

March 28th, 2008 // 33 Comments


For those of you who have been living in the Mariana Trench, Brad Pitt has impregnated his shadowy mistress Angelina Jolie with twins. This pregnancy isn’t going as well as Shiloh’s did. Angie is suffering from “edema or swelling, gestational diabetes, fatigue and relentless nausea.” Ugh.

“Angie has gestational diabetes,” a source says. “She found out about a month ago and has been trying to keep it under wraps. She’s been seeing a nutritionist about it — frequently.”

Angelina isn’t known for being a hearty eater. After her mom Marcheline Bertrand died last year, Angelina’s weight went down to 98 lbs. You hang onto those incredibly expensive babies now, Angie! She’s also all kinds of swollen.

“Her feet are so swollen that her shoes have gone up a half size at least. She’s constantly tired,” says the source. “She’s sick and irritable and feels heavy and weak.”

God, remind me to never, ever get pregnant. That sounds harsh. I have it hard enough when I have a hangnail or dry skin. 1/2 a shoe size? Godspeed, dark lady. You know Brad Pitt is one suffering bastard right now. And I don’t mean the drink from the Kowloon on Rt. 1

By J. Harvey

  1. Welcome to the real world, lady. This is how the rest of us do pregnancy. It’s not all angels singing and no weight gain!

  2. HK

    Boo hoo. Who cares. She’s an idiot.

  3. Erin

    How do all these celebrities have twins? Is there some secret I don’t know about?

  4. madzephiloh

    yes, who cares for this husband-grabber…besides after the babies were born, she will sell the 1st picture of the babies for astronomical fees so it is like a real game for all these women in hollywood and the people sucks them in….ugh…what a waste!!! they make babies like a doll factories because they can make money out of their own babies – pathetic!!!and yes, how come twins are like the “in fashion” among these celebrity women – married or unmarried! it seems like they now have a choice when they want to get pregnant either one baby or twin maybe….scary thought… is so abnormal!!!

  5. swatkins


  6. swatkins


  7. Garish

    As if some “insider” of the J-P’s would talk to the tabloids! Angelina hasn’t said anything about twins or selling photos. This smacks of rank sexism as it appears Brad had nothing to do with this pregnancy — an immaculate conception perhaps?

    God bless Angelina, her children, Brad, James and anyone she loves!!!

  8. g

    Oh for fuck’s sake. Who DOESN’T gain a half shoe size when they’re pregnant? At least!

  9. Elaine Benes

    If Angelina had no problems with Shiloh’s conception,why did she & Brad go to the doc for fertility treatments??? For more news because she’ll now have twins?? I know they wouldn’t do it to bring on more publicity. Such private, helping the world people.

  10. green cardigan

    ‘You know Brad Pitt is one suffering bastard right now.’ lol.

    I’d say he’s sorry he was ever born. Crazy pregnant missus (who had a high level of crazy before), 4 small children to take care of, wrinkles that just keep spreading and gettign deeper, hair issues, and no blockbuster movies in the pipeline. Lordy. It’d make you want to nt get up in the morning.

  11. Jello

    LMFAO!!! It never ceases to amaze me how gullible you tabloid junkies are!

  12. JanePitt

    This is setting the stage for the miscarriage of this fake pregnancy. I’m so sick of this bitch, Brad and all of the infantile worshipping of these two freaks and thier children.

  13. wickedmish

    Kowloon on Route 1? Wicked funny my friend!

  14. Oh brother

    GMAFB. I seem to remember pictures of last weekend with her kids and Brad walking all over New Orleans with NO swollen, feet or legs. LMAO. Good Lord. Some of you want sooooo bad to believe the tabloid bs written about her you use no common sense.

  15. Oh brother

    And to add. No MD is in his right mind would be giving her fertility treatments. She had no problems getting pregnant before or during her pregnancy, it’s only been 18 mos since her c-section and she has a family history of cervical cancer which eventually took her mother. Get real. Fraternal twins are passed through the mother’s genetic history and identical are just an act of nature. Anyone can have identical twins. She has twins in her family (her cousin had twin girls) and he has twins in his family (sister has twin girls)

  16. maureen

    That explains all the full-length dresses lately–could she be more vain??

  17. Janet

    OMG – you know the Kowloon??? I grew up around there!!! And further south, the orange dinosaur at the mini-golf course. Is Hilltop Steak House still there??? And the Continental Restaurant?

    So cool to see this – I’m 3000 miles away now but the North Shore will always live in me. :)

  18. susan

    I am from Massachusetts and I immediatly picked up on the Kowloon on Rte. 1 reference. Made me homesick. Small world when my old stomping grounds is refered to in this blog.

  19. AT

    haha the kowloon. gotta love route 1. kowloon, chicken pot pies, and fudruckers. dammit now I’m hungry.

  20. Chila Bu

    I think a dog fucked jolie or may be brad and angie’s brother make those babies..I got tweenssssssssssssss

  21. Fave

    Doesn’t anyone else think it’s strange that all the pregnant celebrities these days are having fraternal twins? Never identical, usually not a single baby (god forbid). They all have c-sections (way quicker and cut down on the stretch marks, tearing, etc and don’t have to experience labor pains). You get one of each sex and only one pregnancy and c-section. It’s just perfect!!! What about all the people in the world who can get pregnant and can’t afford fertility experts?

  22. Jeri

    I personally don’t care how many children Angelina & Brad have as long as they are loved & cared for & from everything I’ve read & pictures I’ve seen, that seems to be the case. they obviously can afford & want a large family so why are so many people bitching?
    I adore Jennifer Aniston but have no clue what broke up her marriage to Brad Pitt. people who cheat or leave a spouse obviously weren’t happy to begin with. as the saying goes there are 3 sides to a story…his, her’s & somewhere in between lies the truth. none of us know them, only what we read.

  23. Bored in Boston

    The Kowloon on Route 1? I love it! You *know* that’s a killer. Negotiating your way into Saugus is a killer enough…

  24. Angel

    I wish people would look at the good things these two have done–Angelina with her charity work, Brad with his “make it right” program down in New Orleans. I was living in Biloxi with my son when Katrina hit, and it’s no picnic down there still. I wish them all the best; it’s clear they love those kids and if they have the love and the means to take care of them, by all means, let them live their lives they way they want!! =)

  25. human

    There are so many other things in the world to be concerned with. It must be easy to sit back a judge (celebrities) by what the “truthful” paparazzi is saying or shooting. PEOPLE; try to put out only things that make you feel positive. As far as babies are concerned….they are a blessing to those who desire them and then are there to love them. Apparently, some of you negative people were not as blessed. I have one word…..therapy. Happy life to you all

  26. Obinna

    I pray that the God Almight will grant Angelina Jolie a save delivery of her unborn twins. Angie has realy put smile on the face of most people all over the world including the poor, the widows etc. I love her acting and and virtualy everything about her, i am praying constantly for her smooth delivery, as far as am concern, her pregnancy is not complicated and will never be, she is a child of God and i personaly can not afford to loose somebody like Jolie, i will just die. She is my reason for watching E-television.
    Psalm 121 is her portion.
    Angie, be strong, God loves you, you will give birth at the right time without any hinderance amen.


  27. igoana

    if she is really pregnent, and they both love all the children that they already have…then GET OFF THIER BACKS GUYS…..PLZZ…
    But if this is one of Angie’s staunt then screw her….and screw brad..for leaving J.Aniston

  28. praoowww skiii

    angelina jolie is soo freakinggg fineeeee..
    i just wanna bang her and make her 2 more twins!!!!

  29. praoowww skiii

    angelina jolie is soo freakinggg fineeeee..
    i just wanna bang her and make her 2 more twins!!!!

  30. Apple

    Who the hell cares if they sell the photos? For a couple million I would most deff sell my childs picture! Jealousys a bitch people…get over it!

  31. Matters?

    Even dog! doesn’t prostitute itself. Shiz only a whore. Then say no more…

  32. Matters?

    Even dog! doesn’t prostitute itself. Shiz only a whore. Then say no more…
    Son of a bitch!

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