And Then Her “Universe’s Best Mommy” Mug Will Actually Be True

Us Weekly reports that Katie Holmes was recently taken aback when her hubby, Tom Cruise, informed her that she needs to start going to parenting classes, given by Scientologist instructors. And, unsurprisingly, she didn’t take too kindly to the idea.

“Katie was quite offended by that,” the source tells Us. “Can you imagine when you’re 28 and have your first child to be told you need to go to this church to become a better mom?”

Reportedly, the mother and actress already has a Scientology “minder,” who is employed for the sole purpose of ensuring “that nothing is said or done that would be critical of the church.” Hmm, I guess that means a South Park guest spot might be a tad out of the question. And actually, the article goes on to say that pretty much every member of Tom and Katie’s staff is a Scientologist.

Says the source, “Everyone who works with Tom is technically minding Katie.”

Girl, as much as we’d like to help you, we told you to run a long time ago. I suspect this might turn into a “Not Without My Daughter”-type situation. Where’s Sally Field when you need her? Oh, that’s right…she’s got a show to do. Sorry, Katie. Maybe she can help a sistah out during summer reruns.