‘American Horror Story’ Recap: ‘Bitchcraft’ Showcases A Murdering Vagina

October 10th, 2013 // 5 Comments
American Horror Story Coven Jessica Lange

Talk about some intense female vengeance!

On the season premiere of FX’s American Horror Story, the ladies of New Orleans don’t mince words when they are crossed. People end up super dead.

Our favorite stars of the series are back, the fantastic Jessica Lange plays the supreme witch Fiona Goode whose kiss of death keeps her young and sexy, but leaves her male victims as piles of dust. And Emma Roberts joins the cast this season, but her tale of woe is quite graphic and difficult to witness.

Emma’s character Madison is a famous movie star who is sent to Miss Robichaux’s Academy For Exceptional Young Ladies alongside her fellow students Nan who is clairvoyant, Queenie the human voodoo doll, and Zoe whose powerful vagina gives her lovers a brain aneurism!

Zoe is played by Taissa Farmiga who had a captivating performance in season one of the series. Madison and Zoe attend a frat party where Zoe meets Kyle. While they get to know one another Madison is roofied and gang raped in the upstairs bedroom of the frat house. Kyle goes to her rescue and attempts to stop her rapists, but they make him board a party bus and Madison blows the bus up with her witchy bitchy mind.

Fiona’s daughter Cordelia is the witch school headmistress and wants to teach the girls to control their powers, but Fiona wants them to get ready for a war that seems to be heading their way. A Cajun witch 50 miles away was burned at the stake and Fiona thinks this brutality will continue.

Flashback to 1834 where a woman named Delphine LaLaurie played by Kathy Bates heads her household like a Creole badass, but tortures her slaves in the attic to obtain blood for youth. One of the slaves sleeps with her daughter and she fashions him a cow’s head, then steals his blood. Famous Voodoo queen Marie Laveau makes an appearance in the series when she comes to the rescue of the slave in question who is one of her lovers. She poisons Delphine LaLaurie and buries her in the back courtyard.

In present day, Nan senses Delphine’s presence and lets Fiona know of her burial location. Fiona digs up the old broad who is still alive after all these years. Something is afoot and viewers are only beginning to learn the depth of this creepy cluster cuss.

Zoe goes to the hospital to see if Kyle was one of the only two frat boys who survived the bus explosion. He isn’t there, but Madison’s rapist is and Zoe straddles him with her magic vagina and gets her jollies until his brain explodes. I can’t wait to see what this vagina will do next!

Previews for next week show Kyle coming back to life in the form of some modern Frankenstein. Sounds super spooky.

By Chelsi Archibald
  1. Marie

    Uhhh two (misspelled words) steak and braud(?!) really?! Are you kidding me?’ How on earth did you get this job?

  2. mark

    I wish this an actual review, instead of just a recap. Do you have a critic, who has an opinion?

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