‘American Horror Story Coven’ Recap: ‘The Sacred Taking’

December 6th, 2013 // Leave a Comment
American Horror Story Coven Kathy Bates

A swamp witch and a butt plug.

As usual, FX’s American Horror Story Coven went there in the weirdest of ways. Even though this episode was centered on Fiona’s imminent death and the coven’s attempt at speeding her towards it, the writers made sure to add in an enema just for kicks.

Queenie travels under a bridge to retrieve a dark heart for Marie Laveau, but is met with Zoe and Madison from her former coven. They want her back, but will she comply?

She lets them know that it’s voodoo versus salem once again. The war is on. She does feel badly for Delphine, whom she sold out to Marie Laveau after finding out all the Creole’s terrible deeds in her former life. But even so, she makes sure to bring her a hamburger and fries to ease the tension. Marie isn’t so kind. To teach LaLaurie a lesson she grabs a machete and hacks off the woman’s hand.

Cordelia is still super blind and wondering where the hell the wait staff is. For being a witch with the gift of sight she sure is clueless about a great deal of the goings on at this academy. She tells Madison to keep her resurrection on the down low so that Fiona assumes she is still dead. Speaking of the walking dead, while Misty Day is in her Cajun cabin Myrtle Snow awakes from her grave and warns the swamp witch of a man circling the place with a gun.

The two are so freaked out that they seek refuge in the academy. Delia offers them protection and Myrtle is convinced that Misty is actually the supreme, not crazy Madison or clueless Zoe. The group decides to perform a ritual called ‘The Sacred Taking’ in which they give the supreme permission to die in order for her replacement to step forth for the greater good of the coven. How will they get Fiona to die?

They decide to fake her out by having Madison frolic around Fiona’s bedroom in a red frock and pretend to be the new supreme. She tells Fiona that she resurrected herself and now Fiona must kill herself or be burned at the stake. Fiona tells Myrtle that she has the axeman to take care of her until she dies, but her nemesis reminds her that men cannot be relied upon and that she will certainly die alone. Fiona complies and takes a shit load of pills to kill herself. But ghost Spalding appears and gives her medicine to make her regurgitate and live on.

Fiona busts in the door and lets those bitches know she hasn’t given up. Cordelia says she isn’t intimidated by her mother and waits retaliation. But Fiona says she is proud of her daughter. And Delia is hoping that Fiona will help them face the mysterious gunman who hunts witches.

Luke’s mother finds out that he’s been spending time with the witch crew next door and does what any insane uber religious freak show would do. She has him poor clorox cleaning agent rinse up his anus for a nice, gentle cleanse. It’s a good old fashioned butt plug in the bath. Nan can’t deal with hearing his painful thoughts and goes over there to rescue him. But the gunman awaits outside and shoots Luke’s mom to death before giving him a head wound. Nan is distraught and Misty shows up to help out, but Fiona demands that the swamp witch bring Luke’s terrible mother back to life to prove her powers.

Zoe tries to teach Franken Kyle how to speak by giving him a computer and some headphones. Madison just wants to bone. After he plays the children’s game for awhile he tells Zoe that he loves her and Madison is super sad/jealous/angry/generally bummed out.

Just when Fiona and Delia are getting along the doorbell rings. Fiona answers the door to a cardboard box with Delphine’s animated head inside. Yuck! What will this coven do to get back at the Voodoo clan?

By Chelsi Archibald

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