Alyssa Milano to Star in Jackass 3, Will Ski Naked Into Johnny Knoxville’s Penis

Alyssa Milano, who I heard was recently trying to bump Jessica Biel off of Justin Timberlake’s seemingly magic penis (too bad he’s already got Scarjo back on it), was spotted making a beeline for the newly divorced Johnny Knoxville in Miami over the weekend . Don’t worry, it didn’t last long. This was Saturday night, and she hooked up with sketchy football player Matt Leinart on Sunday night. Doesn’t anyone ever have to get up for work in the morning? Debauchery! All these people need to be boiled! I hope everyone used something.

The night before, Milano tilted her cap at the recently divorced Johnny Knoxville. The “Jackass” star showed up with a date to the Playboy Super Bowl party, but he was spotted getting cozy with Milano in the VIP area. Milano was overheard saying she was “excited to meet” Knoxville, and spies saw her “fawning all over him.”

I need a scorecard for all of this. Except the scorecard would be so teeming with syphillis that I would have to hold my hand over a Bunsen burner after I touched it.

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