Ali Lohan’s New Song Is Pretty Much What You’d Imagine

July 9th, 2008 // 15 Comments

Ali Lohan has a new single. I actually watched her cutting this track on that godawful show I recap, Living Lohan. Bitch can not sing. It’s rough that I’m referring to a 14-year-old as “bitch” but hey, she looks 47. That’s a bitch.

Anyway, it’s called “All The Way Around,” (is she talking about Lindsay’s corner?) and it’s what you would expect. It’s the kind of music that you would hear in the background at Forever 21. She’ll be lucky if it gets to Forever 21. Dress Barn, maybe.

The song appears to be a relationship gone bad. She’s 14. Sure, she looks like she’s taken on plenty of sailors, but still.

She’s 14, so I can’t bag on her too much about it. It just feels very Tab A into Slot B. I’m sure her friggin’ mother thinks it’s Debussy.


Ali Lohan has a new single.
I actually watched her cutting this track on that godawful show I
recap, Living Lohan. Bitch can not sing. It’s rough that I’m referring
to a 14-year-old as “bitch” but hey, she looks 47. That’s a bitch.

Anyway, it’s called “All The Way Around,” (is she talking about
Lindsay’s corner?) and it’s what you would expect. It’s the kind of
music that you would hear in the background at Forever 21. She’ll be
lucky if it gets to Forever 21. Dress Barn, maybe.

The song appears to be a relationship gone bad. She’s 14. Sure, she looks like she’s taken on plenty of sailors, but still.

She’s 14, so I can’t bag on her too much about it. It just feels very
Tab A into Slot B. I’m sure her friggin’ mother thinks it’s Debussy.

By J. Harvey
  1. nikki

    okay ii like this song and ii liike her voice but in da show she acts like auh bitich and a very big bitich and i cant stand that 4 real really

  2. New York

    Poor kid has dead delivery & face like her mother.

  3. Phil

    She sucks.

  4. Phil

    She cannot sing, but she is hotter than her sister … so that’s something.

  5. Bozo Goop

    I’d put my cock in her ass, but I wouldn’t listen to her music if you held a gun to my head.

  6. casey

    you know, its sad. because on “living lohan” it sounds nothing like this. and she can even tell that she sucks, which is why she stresses over it so much. so i think its pretty obvious that they had to do a lot of work on her voice. i think its hilarious when they let her hear it at the end of that show and everyone says she did such a great job. too bad it didn’t even sound like what she recorded. whatever, shes annoying. and this song is never going to be famous. i also enjoyed the part where her producer or what the fuck ever he was said “youre going to be like ten million times better when this is all over.” and she was like “oh because im not that great now.” and he just laughed. urghh.

  7. emerson

    Boring!

  8. Porky

    Can hear the autotune..a recording studio device used when someone can’t sing on key. Fake!!!!

  9. More untalented kids

    She can’t sing at all. What a shock. We have Britney, Ashlee, Jessica, Miley, Madonna people who can not sing and have to lip synch. We need this girl like a pimple on our rear.

  10. Trixiebelle

    This poor kid cannot sing and it is sick how everyone that surrounds her constantly tells her how great she is. She isn’t and she knows it and that is why she is so insecure about her “talent”. Only thing going for her is she’s Lindsay’s sister. Sorry, but that’s the truth.

  11. edub

    she sounds ok, better than dying hyena miley, but she is a bitch

  12. jamaican princess!

    mi bumbo claat!!!! WTF?? Y IS IT THAT ALL A YA’LL ARE SO FULL OF SHIT.
    THE KID IS TRYING TO DO SUMN WITH HER LIFE AND YA’LL KEEP BITCHING ABOUT WHAT SHE CAN AND CANNOT DO(CHECK UNU SELF).PEOPLE GET REAL!! GO FIND SUMN BETTA FI DO WID UNU RASS TIME. DI WHOLE A UNU FULL A SHIT LIKE BUMBO!! GET FUKING REAL MAN..WHO WUDDA SEH DEM AGO STICK DEM COCK IN A 14 YEAR OLD’S ASS! THATS JUST FUCKED UP, BOY U NEED HELP… BITCHES GET OVER UNU SELF AND GO DO SUMN WID UNU LIFE.

  13. J-Mo

    Hey Jamaican Princess!

    First of all STOP SHOUTING! Second of all, before you tell anyone to go do something with their life, why don’t you do something useful with YOURS and go LEARN ENGLISH! Your post is so full of misspellings and stupid contractions it’s damn near impossible to even guess at what you’re trying to say (I think you’re defending Ali Lohan’s right to annoy the world with her shitty voice and terrible music?… and seriously WTF is “UNU” supposed to mean?) The best thing that Ali Lohan and her liar mother could do would be to stay off of TV and out of movies and off the airwaves, they’ve done enough damage to an entire generation of young impressionable American girls with drug-and-sex-addicted Lindsay (seriously, this girl is such a skank, and the media glorifies her as if she’s some kind of 20-something Meryl Streep, which she isn’t).

    love, J-Mo :)

  14. Grace

    you people are mean….cut the girl a break…@ least shes not falling into the wrong footsteps…and i do like her song…and her voice..i dont really care what you guys think…maybe b/c ur big losers…and Miley Cyrus is awesome… and all of the other people u guys think suck

  15. whyyalltrippin

    k, well she has a good voice, but she has to stop trying to dress and look like a 20 yr old or w/e. waay to much makeup for her. and they amped up her voice to much. it doesnt even sound like her.

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