Ali Lohan Somehow Got On The Cover Of Something

August 28th, 2008 // 9 Comments

Has anyone heard of Supermodels Unlimited magazine? Ali Lohan‘s on the cover. Is this printed in Nana Lohan’s basement? First off, I wasn’t aware that Ali is a supermodel. Sure, she’s walked the sidewalks of a Long Island and been called a “striptease person” by Anderson Cooper. But is that what really makes a supermodel these days? Someone’s lowered the bar, then.

Ali’s featured in a variety of outfits and bad camera angles. You know her berserker mom Dina Lohan put her ass up to this. “Ali’s it’s a GREAT opportunity to be featured in a magazine that looks like a mail order bride catalog from the Balkans! C’mon!”

Seriously, this looks like the pamphlet you get in the waiting room of a Nevada brothel.

Check out all the photos of Ali Lohan in the gallery.


Has anyone heard of Supermodels Unlimited magazine? Ali Lohan‘s on the cover.
Is this printed in Nana Lohan’s basement? First off, I wasn’t aware
that Ali is a supermodel. Sure, she’s walked the sidewalks of a Long
Island and been called a “striptease person” by Anderson Cooper. But is that what really makes a supermodel these days? Someone’s lowered the bar, then.Ali’s featured in a variety of outfits and bad camera angles. You know her berserker mom Dina Lohan
put her ass up to this. “Ali’s it’s a GREAT opportunity to be featured
in a magazine that looks like a mail order bride catalog from the
Balkans! C’mon!”Seriously, this looks like the pamphlet you get in the waiting room of a Nevada brothel.

By J. Harvey
  1. green cardigan

    Ok, thankfully this photoshoot is not too sexy but she’s 14. 14!!!!!! Can her crazy fame desperate mother not let her have a childhood ?? Go to school and make friends and giggle and fall in love with the Jonas brothers, instead of trawling her wares around town hoping for a gig ?

  2. say what?

    well, green, she has said in the past that Lindsay is her “role model” as far as how to achieve fame. what gets me is that she doesn’t seem to know what she wants to be famous FOR…I’ve never heard a quote from her that says “I LOVE singing and want to be a singer” or “I LOVE acting and can’t wait to get my first role”…it’s just “I want to be famous”.

    ugh.

    and J, how would YOU know what they give you to read in the waiting room at a Nevada brothel? are you just teasing us with the whole “I’m gay” thing?! HMMMM? (I kid, I kid…)

  3. green cardigan

    Well if Ali had a normal mother, she’d have been told ‘you can try and be famous when you’re 18. Till then you go to school kiddo’. End of. 14 year olds are in the care of their parents, they shouln’t really be pouting on the cover of ‘C-List Supermodels LTD’ because Ma “I’m a single mother’ Lohan needs the cash.

  4. ibth

    Aren’t there child protection services in USA?
    This poor, poor, delusional child is only 14 and: a) sold like a piece of meat and working at age of 14, b) portrayed humiliatingly as a 50 year old desperate housewife who needs sex but hasn’t had any since her last child was conceived, c) her mother, the agent, seems to hate her as she repeatedly sets her up for humiliation in public by letting her act/sing/pose in public.

  5. Kayla

    Loser! The entire family is a bunch of fame whore losers!!!EVERYONE OF THEM!!! The public does not care about these celebrity wannabes!! Yes, Linds is a no talent, loser, her bisexual, using Sam, self! MAKE THEM ALL GO AWAY!!!!

  6. Kayla

    Loser! The entire family is a bunch of fame whore losers!!!EVERYONE OF THEM!!! The public does not care about these celebrity wannabes!! Yes, Linds is a no talent, loser, her bisexual, using Sam, self! MAKE THEM ALL GO AWAY!!!!

  7. Green Is Good

    Tragic. This child’s mother has brainwashed her into thinking she has talent. Unforch, her talent is looking like 30 year-old Cocktail waitress from the Gold Nugget.

  8. ms sooz

    She is so ugly. I know shes only 14… but god is she ugly. Most supermodels don’t have pretty faces… they say oh your face is so “interesting”… lol

  9. Jan

    She is not a super model.
    She is not America’s next sweetheart.
    She is not attractive either outside or inside.
    She is stupid and needs to go back to school.

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