Ali Lohan Crashes

August 24th, 2007 // 11 Comments


Ali Lohan, 13, was involved in a car accident last Friday. She had snuck out of her house to meet up with a friend. Or perhaps to sell photos of her crazed sister to the paps. Hey – if you’re forced to live in that mayhem, you might as well make a profit.

The accident, in which two people were slightly injured, happened at 7:20 p.m. on Friday, close to the Lohan family home in Merrick, on New York’s Long Island.

“Ali had snuck out of the house to be with her friend, a 16-year-old boy who has a learner’s permit. He had taken the car without his mother’s permission,” says the insider. “Luckily, she was not hurt.”

I know that’s typical kid stuff. It could be the basis of a “7th Heaven” episode. But these are Lohans. He might have crashed because Ali was trying to show him that “harmonica-style” thing that Lindsay taught her. Ok, that was crass but I’m in Newport and having to write about these debris people is spoiling my mood.


By J. Harvey

  1. Zekers

    I would not have been let out of the house wearing a bikini that small when I was 13…what was her mom thinking…oh, wait…Lohan…never mind.

  2. nastybugger

    UGH. those bikini pics look like some sort of child porn.

    This girl is going to wind up JUST LIKE HER SISTER.

  3. Courtney

    Okay let’s all think back to when we were 16. Would you be caught dead hanging out with a 13 year old? Absolutely not. That guy had to be getting something out of it.

    I’m crass too today, apologies.

  4. nastybugger

    “getting something out of it” is right.

    sorry to be gross, but she was probably giving it up to this guy. the only time I EVER heard of a 16yo guy interested in a 13yo girl was when I was in middle school and yes, the girl was KNOWN as a slut.

    in fact, “slutty” was the first part of her nickname.

    ali most likely has the same daddy issues as lindz does, which is what I believe led lindz to be so slutty.

  5. skrpune

    oh lord, did you have to put up thos bikini pictures again?

    And I agree with nastybugger, this is like sick kiddie porn, please replace with something less icky icky poo?!

  6. T-Bone

    Does she really stand a chance? Everyone around her is a mess.

    On the flip side, I have to admit that my friend and I got into a car wreck at 13. Somehow, we thought it a good idea to see what it was like to drive her parent’s Cadillac. Unfortunately, it was one of the slipperiest days of the year. UGH!!! THAT WAS ABSOLUTELY AWFUL!

    Anyways, stay in school, Ali, and do the exact opposite of your sister, mother and father.

  7. Quimbucker

    Let’s see…16 year old guy…13 year old girl…It’s a pretty safe bet he was showing off more than his driving skills and with the last name of “Lohan” I’m quite sure “Little Sis” is already well acquainted with how to thank a guy for giving you a ride. Don’t forget to hum your favorite tune!

  8. That harmonica-style thing??? Do tell! I’ve never heard of that before, but I do have an excellent imagination so I may not need any explanation after all. Still go ahead…enlighten us J. Harvey and give us “Harmonica Jobs 101″


  9. ZeldaF

    OH COME ON PEOPLE, GIVE THE YOUNG GIRL A BREAK!! Really, SHAME ON YOU ALL!! You can NOT judge this poor girl guilty because of the sins of her sister. Yes, she’s from a totally fucked up family, but back off; she’s 13 years old for Gods sake. Don’t you remember what it’s like to be 13? She’s no doubt feeling SO alone in this world that she NEEDS a friend. Just because she’s seeing a 16 year old boy, doesn’t mean they’re doin’ the nasty. Yes, the whole purpose of this site is for all of us to be incredibly judgemental and snarky. But TRY to be an optimist, TRY to see the good side of someone, TRY NOT to be so damned judgemental OF A 13 YEAR OLD GIRL, and put yourself in her place. We’ve ALL been there; we’ve all done stupid things. Doesn’t make the poor young thing a slut. She’s 13, find someone else of reasonable age to pick on. People are just waiting for this poor thing to turn out shitty so they can shout “I TOLD YOU SO, SHE’S SHIT JUST LIKE HER SISTER”. Back off & let her find her way.

  10. Wow, Her Royal Highness Whorey Moron II. Fantastic. Let’s hope they both have kids so we will never run out of people to point at!

  11. Tiffany

    I’m thirteen. I am not a slut, or a prostitute..and given the chance I would do the exact same thing. I wouldn’t care about the consequences. It wouldn’t be the first time that I had snuck out. I mean god. Honestly, just because Lindsay wasn’t the perfect big sister, you don’t have to take it out on Aliana. Call me “crazy” but I look up to her. She’s following her dreams & taking all the shit that you people are throwing at her. Most of you are probably just middle aged men/women (not to be bitchy) so how the fuck would you know what it’s like to be a teenager now a days? She’s my idol, and I look forward to growing up with her. It’s already hard enough for her. You don’t have to be such judgmental whores. ZeldaF is basically the only one who gets it. I know, I KNOW this site is all about gossiping and stuff, but it’s also about sharing you opinions which is just what I’ve done.

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