A Typical Saturday Night For Britney Spears
- Britney leaves he gated community and heads straight for a gas station bathroom. While there, she freaks out on her cell to her bff forever Sam lufti. Apparently, Sammy Boy isn’t pulling his scrub weight because she sounds over it. She then calls a recording studio to book some time and says “I need a f**ing studio now. Don’t tell me you don’t know who I am. F*** you. I need it now, not tomorrow!”
- Britney visits two more gas station toilets within the next hour, while kidnapping a pap named Phillipe to ride around in the backseat with her and her assistant. I hope Phillipe had a crash helmet and a Taser. Why doesn’t she get tinted windows so she can do her drugs without having to stop at dirty gas station bathrooms?
While driving around Phillipe, she continually runs red lights.
- Crazyface pulls into a restaurant so she can go inside and change her clothes. She puts on a red outfit, so she can keep the rodeo hooker theme going. She tells Phillipe to take her to a Target (they’re closed by this time) and then tells him to call a paparazzi pal named Adnan whom she wants to do the flippy floppy with. Adnan races down. Brit gets in his car and plays with his “hat” and has her assistant follow her. Does she hang out with photogs because no one else wants to get near her.
- Britney is back with her assistant in her car when she decides to photograph a mural. See the earlier video we posted. That’s when she had her freakout and said the following: “You guys get a million pictures of me. Just let me get one for myself. No I can take it. I don’t want you to take it. Move out of the way you f***ng a***holes. You stupid f***s. I can’t see. Move! I can’t take a picture with you standing there, you m***f***rs. You’re f***ing stupid. Shut up.” Don’t mind, Britney, she’s just out back on the mood swing. Britney leaves.
- Crazyface comes back to get her camera, which she forgot? And a pap helps her get the damaged memory card out of it. Suddenly, she nice as pie and says to her beloved friends: “I love you guys. I’m just in a bad mood. It’s not like me to get mad at you.” You know she’s not actually seeing photographers. She’s seeing the Scarecrow, Tin Man, and the Lion.
- Britney then hits another public toilet, in a Walgreen’s. She then goes home and emerges dressed like a hooker who got pushed out a ten story window. She meets up with paparazzi Adnan and they hit the Peninsula Hotel where he emerges briefly close to 4 AM to get smokes and joke about how he’s doing her. He then goes back and stays til’ 10:24 AM! He then drove to Britney’s house where he hung out into late afternoon. Despite the fact that it was her day with the kids. Meet your new Daddy, kids, don’t mind the video camera!
Buckwild batshit one french fry short of a happy meal elevator not going to the penthouse answering the hot iron as a telephone talking to mannequins wallpaper licking painting one half of your face checkerboard aluminum foil hat wearing crazy. Crazy.
See more photos of Britney donning her pink wig after the jump.