A Socialite’s Library: Fired!

We all hate our jobs sometimes. In fact, if it weren’t for this website, I’d probably be chillin’ with Britney in rehab (or at least crying and shaving my legs by a pool). Sometimes the best jobs turn out to be nightmares, and the nightmare jobs turn out to be awesomely fantastic. When it comes down to it, we just don’t really know what we’re getting into, and when we do find out, it’s often too late. Fired! by Annabelle Girwitch is a compilation of professional horror stories, as told to her by her celebrity buddies. Annabelle was famously fired by her idol, Woody Allen, in the harshest of ways. He called her retarded! Annabelle was crushed (deservedly), and while leaning on the shoulders of her famous friends, let it all hang out and told her the stories of their failures…Luckily for us, Annabelle published the stories – names and all. Since reading the book, I’ve put down my razor and walked away from the pool…I totally don’t have it that bad!

Broken out into five chapters (Jobs So Terrible You Can Only Hope To Be Fired, The Firing You Didn’t See Coming, The Time You Deserved To Be Fired, The Time Getting Fired Leads You To Something Better, and That Time You Had To Fire Yourself), this book has something for everyone. There’s that time Brian Unger was dismissed from E! because his look stopped being right (he apparently broke the cameras). He went from interview Jennifer Lopez, Garner, and Aniston, to standing outside in the rain doing intros before getting the axe.

Then there was that time Bob Saget’s chair mysteriously disappeared while he was doing a “Comedy Corner” for CBS. He was fired by both the morning show he was on, and released by CBS, that same week. But the chair went first! He went on to accept the role of Danny Tanner on Full House and moved to L.A. shortly thereafter (resulting in the first Danny Tanner getting fired – a veritable domino effect of firings!).

Andy Dick surprisingly couldn’t hold down a job, either! He was fired from D.B. Kaplan’s (a restaurant). What was his job? He put orders into bags, poured soup, and did deliveries! He gave a cup of soup away to the cute girl (wait, he’s not gay?) that worked at the Gap across the street, and his boss said, “Punch out your time card, you’re fired! Get out and if you ever show your face here again, I’ll knock your block off!” YIKES!

If you love or hate your job, Fired! will make you laugh, or at least feel a little better about yourself. A peak into the personal world of some of your favorite celebs, my favorite quote from the book was “If at first you don’t succeed, failure may be your style.” (Quentin Crisp)