A Replacement For The Pope

April 1st, 2005 // 22 Comments

While Pope John Paul II is said to be near death, I think this would be a good time to come up with a way to revitalize the Catholic religion. You know, get the young kids and teenagers interested, without having them worry about be molested. It’s time for a hot Pope. Why not. Wouldn’t all the naysayers take a second look at the pope, if he was at least hot.

Here are a few candidates, taken from the Calendario Romano for 2005.

I’m just saying that if the Pope looked like one of those priests above, you’d probably have a few more people listening to what he’s saying. While you’d probably be considered shallow for doing so, isn’t time for a Catholic makeover?

By Miu von Furstenberg
  1. Brie

    Miu,

    Do you RESPECT anything of value in life?

  2. Daniell

    Miu, I absolutely love you!!!!! If the Pope was one of those men I would be at the Vatican right now. Is that disrespectful?

  3. snuffy

    I’m having some really impure thoughts. Oy vey.

  4. girlganja

    That’s not right…it’s just not right. I LOVED IT!

  5. Hector

    Did anyone see that Father Guido Sarducci’s in the running, too? To wit:

    http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/rnr/66478724.html

  6. saint

    i’m jealous of god

  7. Yeah, but are they gonna disconnect his feeding tube?

  8. katie

    my votes for father october.

  9. tatas

    if father october actually became the new pope I would feel rather guilty for lusting after him, being a catholic girl and all

  10. Buntcake

    I’ll take #2, please…

  11. lulu

    amen to that

    and thats not just any old amen. thats an
    ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh men.

  12. miguelito

    those are hot, but i still feel sorry for the pope..
    he looks so innocent and helpless and he’s dying in a sad way (i’m an atheist, go ahead and make fun of me all you want to

  13. I’m going to hell in a Chanel Handbag for impure thoughts. wow. LOL

    Must say though… I was and AM in tears for our Pontiff.He truly IS a man of God who deserves the utmost respect.

    Kisses and Foo Foo,
    Patie xo

  14. Rob

    Now there are a couple priests I bet nooone would rat on for “touching” them…bizarre calendar!!

  15. mediaphyter

    I think Brie needs to relax.

    I also think that if my priests had looked like that in Catholic school, I actually would have gone to class. I also would have been humming “Hot for Teacher” on a daily basis. Or would it be, “Hot for Preacher?”

  16. Hector

    “Hot for Preacher?!” Ha! Here’s a hot preacher for you:

    http://it.geocities.com/DonJimUSA/gallery.html

    And he’s quite smart, too.

  17. Hawt! I’m so with you on this one :)

  18. cakeboy

    i will get on my knees
    i will pray
    i will be madonna, mc hammer,
    i will be the best damned altar boy

  19. I’m just waiting for Fox TV to make a reality show about the new candidate for Pope… “Extreme Makeover – The Rome Addition.”

  20. Ocelot

    Damn, Sign me up!!!!!!!!!!!!

  21. Tima Sanchez

    I think it is pittiful that people think dirty things about the church and come up with crazy ideas like having a hot Pope and wanting to modernize the Holy Catholic Church. Im a young girl, but I am devoted to God and my religion, I dont need a “hot Pope” to make me attend church. If anyone gets bored why dont they just try something crazy like the “Kabbalah Center”.

  22. Hello, did you know that the new 2006 calendar is already available? There is a slideshow of the new photos on the website.

Leave A Comment