(The following letters are to styles I love yet I always find myself hating them at times for strange reasons. Here is my attempt to dealing with the issue head on)
Personally I own 3 rompers and 2 jumpsuits. I know, it’s a tad over the top but any outfit that requires the minimal additions to complete an outfit (I mean, you don’t need to buy the top AND bottom), is bought for convenient purposes. Despite how adorable you look on or how it requires minimal effort to arrange an outfit, you are not practical in other ways. How? Well, let’s say I try not to use the bathroom as much as I usually do. And I use the bathroom frequently, so for me it’s a challenge when I decide to wear my rompers or jumpsuits. The outfit requires taking everything off. You are left in your bra and undies, and when it’s cold in said bathroom- forget about it. I love you, romper/jumpsuit, but damn you for making me feel exposed in an already vulnerable situation.
I admit I just recently go into the scrunchie look after a friend/fashion inspiration of mine began wearing them last summer. She would accessorize her printed shorts and retro tank tops with this old school headwear. She would either wear you on her wrist like a bracelet in the event she needed to tie her hair up or enhance that messy bun of hers. It was so retro and fabulous, I ended up buying several of you from American Apparel. I love them but just recently I got into this whole sock bun frenzy. Sock buns are more classy and neat than you (sorry). I hate leaving my velvet blue and neon purple scrunchies sitting along my dresser, unused, but they serve no purpose unless I’m going on a run or beach. Hence, I hate how I don’t use you enough but I love how you are there when I need to style up a boho retro look.
Dear Harem Pants,
I love you, harem pants, but other days you make my thighs look ten times larger than they actually are. Or are my thighs actually that big… When I bought my first pair, I had the expectation of looking like Kim Kardashian, but when I looked into the mirror I face reality. I was no Kim. Instead my thighs looked gigantic and my legs looked short. I love how this style looks on girls like Kim. Unfortunately, Harem Pants I hate how you look on me.
Dear High-Low Skirts,
This new summer look instantly dresses up any outfit. I can wear it with any old tank top and BAM! I could easily be dress appropriate for a midnight outing. They are pragmatic for summer because they show some leg, unlike maxi skirts. However, the trail drags has become an issue for a gal like me who is always on the run. It’s perfect for an office setting, where you are at your desk most of the time but once you are out of that office and into the streets, it can be tedious. I take the subway everywhere and I am always worried the trail (that is chiffon material) will tear. I love you trail, so please don’t tear.
Dear Hot Pants,
You make me feel sexy and daring, which I love. But I find myself eating salads days before I wear you-which I hate because I’m more of a burger kind of girl. This look is tight- literally. The pants are very skin tight and show off all your curves, which can be a good or bad thing depending on how you look at it. Look great for my bootylicious ladies but for those (like me) who tend to get food babies, you can be dangerous.
Dear Derby Sun Hats,
The perfect accessory for the beach. In yesterday’s release of Lana Del Rey’s “National Anthem” video, she was seen sporting you and that convinced me to buy one that much more. I admire how derby sun hats look on some ladies but I can’t seem to pull them off. You see, it’s because my shoulders are too wide and the you seem to emphasize that. Like the harem hats, I admire how they look on girls like Lana Del Rey, but on me- well I’ll just stick to my fedora hat.
Dear Ripped Tights,
Ripped tights can go either really good or really bad. I suppose you have to carry yourself in a certain manner. If you are typically the kind of girl who sports the I’m-a-badass-rockstar look then you could probably pull it off (like Rihanna or my best friend). Sometimes I dare to try your dangerous look (because my black tights ripped and I don’t feel like investing in a new pair). I find myself wearing you down with sold colored shorts and an Urban Outfitters’ oversized sweater. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. You also prove to have some side effects: I begin to listen to a lot of Jack White and hit trashcans.