Lance Bass Squares Off With 50 Cent

October 25th, 2007 // 11 Comments

Not to betray my queer brethren, but my money’s on Fitty. In fact, I fear for Lance’s bone structure. Ok, they’re not really going to fight. They just had books come out at the same time on Tuesday night and did some play-trash talking. Seriously, I’d like to see them fight, though. Again, not to turn my back on my people, but all I can imagine is 50 coming after Lance while he screams and runs for the knife drawer in the kitchen. Lance Bass’ book “Out of Sync” and 50 Cent’s coffe-table book “50×50″ are stepping in the ring.

“He doesn’t stand a chance,” Senor Cent told me at the launch of his coffee-table tome, “50 x 50.”

“With me, everything’s a competition, so I bet you the end of next week, I’ll be moving more copies than him,” Fitty said over dinner at Philippe. “This is the same competition – this is Kanye West and 50 Cent all over again!”

Twenty minutes later, at Azza, Bass was happy to hit back.

“50′s going down, that’s all I have to say,” he said while promoting his memoir, “Out of Sync.”

“50, I don’t want to playa-hate, but there’s a lot that my book has” that his doesn’t.

Lance met his “space training” (remember that attempt to draw attention away from the gay?) and his “relationships with the guys”. Which I think he means the guys in N*Sync. I think. Does he mean guys in general? True. 50 Cent’s been to prison but he’s made it pretty clear in the past he doesn’t swing that way and doesn’t feel like anybody else should. So Lance has that on him. Seriously, though, if Lance EVEN has a Joey Fatone “bro-job” story – he’d goddamn better tell it or I’m citing the Freedom of Information act. I want size, width, girth, circumference, audio and video. In a report. In a binder. With a multimedia laser show accompanying it.

Photos: Getty Images/Bauer-Griffin Online

By J. Harvey

  1. gerard Vandenberg

    Who want to read about this MORON, named louse bass, with FAGGOT-experiences. Curious how many times he was fucked in the ASS. Also curious how many fucking gallons of sperm this asshole “drank”. If you’re really curious how many ass-palls he fucked than I must concider you as a FAGGOT yourself!!

  2. rootabega

    good god i think we need some damage control in this comments section!

  3. nastybugger

    ya know, root, in my experience it’s always the most vocal homophobes that are usually closet-cases themselves.

    especially those who use graphic language to describe sex acts.

  4. rootabega

    im frightened- hold me.

  5. Well Gerard Vandenberg – I “concider” you a total douchebag!

  6. Zekers

    Thanks DavidDust, well said (and spelled-haha)!

  7. J. Harvey – you are absolutely correct – Joey Fat One “Brojob” stories MUST BE TOLD! I don’t need the laser show – just the binder.

  8. stolidog

    i have to say, lance is starting to look like my creepy 5th grade english teacher.

  9. Julie

    Lance stinks, 50cent is the real thang.

  10. ass

    one is an ape & other an ass monkey

  11. ZeldaF

    Good Lord, that VandenCreep really should learn English grammar & syntax, so he doesn’t sound like such an idiot… Anyone REALLY understand WTF he was spewing?

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