5 Things I Realized After My Two-Day ‘Liz & Dick’ Hangover

November 27th, 2012 // Leave a Comment
Lady Gaga & Lindsay Lohan
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Lindsay Lohan Liz & Dick Movie

Nevermind that I skipped the premiere of Lifetime’s Liz & Dick on Sunday in favor of Friends re-runs.  My mother made me sit and watch an encore showing instead of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills last night, and now I can’t stop thinking of how much I want to raid the costume department closet.

Damn you, Lifetime!

These are the points I took away from Lindsay Lohan‘s return to our television sets (Labor Pains, anyone?)

1) Lohan can’t throw a vodka bottle or plate to save her life, and you’d think she’d have practice in this art.

2) The girl can cry.  Or are those red eyes just from a perpetual hangover? 

3) .05% of Lohan’s performance was convincing.  The casting agent who OK’d her to play Elizabeth Taylor should be demoted to working on Dance Moms.

4) “I thought she was fine,” my mom said of Lohan before pointing out that it was a very shallow movie.  ”What do you expect?  Not much to work with, there.”

5) If I hear one more person comment on how talented Lohan is as an actress, I will force them to watch this movie over and over and over again, which is what Lifetime plans to do for the next month and a half.

Closing note: What happened to the Lifetime movies of yore, like The Babysitter’s Seduction, Perfect Body and She Woke Up Pregnant?

Also, I miss the old Lifetime branding.  It was more dramatic and reminded me of Unsolved Mysteries.

By Kelly Lynch

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