Archive: Aug 2008

News Bites: Cristiano Ronaldo Awarded

-Slick player Cristiano Ronaldo won an award for forward of the past season at the UEFA Champions League Draw in Monte Carlo. Ok, I have no clue what any of that meant but I think it’s a soccer thing? Kick that ball! All I care is that this dude has some hot abs. Click the…

J. Harvey |

Reese Witherspoon Finally Smiles

Reese Witherspoon, who is usually kind of a Debbie Downer, actually lightened the hell up in San Paulo, Brazil. She’s there to talk about female empowerment and domestic violence. So is that the key? She feels better in the bosom of women? I say go for it, Wither! Make like Lindsay and break out the…

J. Harvey |

Victoria Beckham: Alien Angel

Victoria Beckham showed up to Harvey Nichols in Manchester, England to promote her new fragrance, “Signature.” She was dressed like she was heavenly. Angels don’t have smega up in their ears, Vicky! Sorry, I’m still reeling. You know there is one dead stylist back at the hotel. She can probably get away with murder. They…

J. Harvey |

Justin Timberlake And Jessica Biel Might Crush The Baby!

Justin Timberlake (aka William Rast, Big Dildo) and Jessica Biel were snapped making out outside the Bisazza furnture store on Melrose in LA. We get it, you’re a couple. I still think she makes him have French Maid day back at the house when he’s naughty. “Oooh, oui, oui, Madame. Pleeez, do not use zee…

J. Harvey |

Fashion Disaster Of The Day: Katie Holmes

Katie Holmes looks like she took a cue from The Sound of Music or Gone With the Wind and used some upholstery fabric to fashion a shirt. I think Tom Cruise might have taken it off my grandma’s old couch, if I’m not mistaken, and forced her to do it. If the material has gotten…

Intern Traci |

Glamour Collision At The ‘Today Show’

Look, they’re young, beautiful and some of them are hiding their candy! Jesse McCartney, Katy Perry, and The (Trannycat) Pussycat Dolls all banded together to play at the Today Show’s Summer Concert series in NYC this morning. Katy Perry dressed as a damn watermelon. She’s into some weird outfits. She’s really into summer. Fill…

J. Harvey |

Labor Day Pains

It’s always fun seeing female celebrities looking as big as a house. Even though they’ll typically loose the weight in two months, thanks to vigorous workouts and diet (or a little lipo). That’s what nannies are for. Push out the baby, and then abandon it while you get your body back in shape. You know…

Miu von Furstenberg |

Kelly Osbourne Walloped A Bitch

Kelly Osbourne, still smarting from her kitchen cabinet having had enough and giving her a black eye, decided to take her revenge out on a gossip columnist.Kelly was at the Punk nightclub in London, swilling champagne and dancing her cares away, when she spotted a reported who recently implied that her lesbionic boyfriend Luke Worrell

J. Harvey |

Zac Efron Is Very Very Pretty

Look into those pools of greyish blue and drown yourself is his eyes. His perfectly wisped hair is an amazement in itself. Unfortunately, Zac wasn’t coerced into taking his shirt off, so we’ll just have to image that all his time spend at the gym is paying off.So just sit back an drink in Zac

Miu von Furstenberg |

News Bites: Old Lady Madonna At The Airport

-Madonna was spotted at Schoenefeld airport in her damn robe. This is the new trend – rich people rolling up out on the streets in whatever they want. We just didn’t think Madonna was gonna turn 50 and just drop all pretense of glamour. Sad. -Michael Phelps and Carrie Underwood are allegedly planning a date.

J. Harvey |

Jessica Simpson Claims Her Ass Smells Like Roses

I think I’m going to heave. Jessica Simpson claims that when she farts, it smells like a rose garden and not like the numerous douchebags she’s had up there. I would rather see elderly people explore fisting than hear about what’s coming out of her ass.The mouthy bitch gave a country concert in Niagra Falls,…

J. Harvey |

Victoria Beckham Has Potatoes Growing In Those Ears

Ugh, tanorexic buildup! Car crash survivor Victoria Beckham made an appearance at her perfume launch with her ears still clotted with fake tanner. Someone get this one a Q-Tip or a facecloth! Oh, the filth!This can’t be happening. How could they let her fly away from her alien homeworld without showing her the holotape of…

J. Harvey |

Barack Obama Mania!

Barack Obama is holding court at the Democratic National Convention in Denver, and half of Hollywood has joined him to get liberal with it for CHANGE! Yeah, I know John McCain picked some ex-beauty queen as his vice, but that was such a ploy to get the female/sensitive ponytail vote. When’s the last time YOU…

J. Harvey |

Selena Gomez Tells Us Something We Don’t Know

Dammmn, girl. Selena Gomez is heating up — and I don’t mean in that tarty Miley Cyrus way. She just released her new music video for her song, “Tell Me Something I Don’t Know,” and shoot me, but I’m kind of digging it.People keep saying that in the video she is just dancing with a…

Intern Traci |

Charlize Theron Attends Elite Toga Party

Actually, Charlize Theron is attending the party for the movie Valentino: The Last Emperor held at Guggenheim Museum during the 65th Venice Film Festival. From Denver to Venice.Theron was in Denver to march into a Democratic National Convention screening of her new film, Battle in Seattle. She’s been having a few problems with the paparazzi

Miu von Furstenberg |

BREAKING: David Duchovny Enters Rehab For Sex Addiction

According to People, David Duchovny has entered rehab for sex addition. “I have voluntarily entered a facility for the treatment of sex addiction,” the actor says in an exclusive statement. “I ask for respect and privacy for my wife and children as we deal with this situation as a family.”Duchovny, 48, has been married to…

Miu von Furstenberg |

Jessica Simpson Keeps Disappointing Country Fans

Jessica Simpson is continuing her state fair/casino concert tour, but critics have not been very kind. One even noted, “It might be unfair calling Jessica Simpson’s show at the Avalon Ballroom Wednesday a train wreck — at some point, a train knows where it’s going.”Ouch! Apparently she seems to treat the concerts more like a…

Intern Traci |

Dirty Sexy Money Is Dirtier Sexier And Monier

Sorry about the monier. An attempt at a little joke too early in the morning.Did you catch Dirty Sexy Money last season? If not, you missed some of the most interesting (and far fetched) and fun family scenarios shown on network television. With Lucy Liu joining the show this fall, things will only get more…

Miu von Furstenberg |

Guess Who’s All Covered Up At The Beach?

Click the photo above to find out who the beach blond is after the jump.

Miu von Furstenberg |
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