Archive: Mar 2008

Janet Jackson Has Now Removed Every Single One Of Her Ribs

Janet Jackson has completed her typical album release cycle of going from being hefty to being intangible. That can’t be healthy. She does this every album. She records with meat on her bones, and then when it comes time for publicity, she loses the weight.

Jesus. This is a corset fetish…

J. Harvey |

Paris Hilton Took A Digger

Hah! It’s not nice to laugh at other people’s pain and misfortune. But when it’s whorish ostrich Paris Hilton, it’s ok. Jesus knows, and he’s a’ight with it. Paris Hilton and her latest victim, douchy Good Charlotte band member Benji Madden, were in Prague and causing a national health emergency with their repulsiveness.

J. Harvey |

Madonna Hasn’t Learned A Damn Thing

Madonna? Madge? Hey sweetie. I’m one of those gays who loves you and just about everything you do. Except your movies. They suck. They really, really blow. Baby, you can’t act. I don’t know what Evita was, and you played yourself in Desperately Seeking Susan. That was it. Your new idea, to star

J. Harvey |

Be Very Afraid Of Lara Flynn Boyle’s Face

Photos: SplashNewsOnline.com

There’s more Lara Flynn Boyle after the jump.

Miu von Furstenberg |

Who’s Using A Paparazzi Playset To Hide From The Paparazzi?

Photos: BauerGriffinOnline.com

Find out who the clever celebrity is after the jump.

Michael Prieve |

Hayden Panettiere Saved A Dolphin, Got A Plaque

Hayden Panettiere was honored by the Human Society at the Genesis Awards on Saturday night for protesting the slaughter of dolphins in Japan. If you’ll recall, Hayden donned a wetsuit and paddled her ass out in front of a Japanese freighter to stop them from offing Flipper.

The audience viewed a…

J. Harvey |

Ricky Martin Fights Slavery

Ricky Martin was in Cambodia on Saturday, to promote the fight against human trafficking. Ricky visited the city of Siem Reap, where he held babies and listened to the song of a 14-year-old rape victim. This world is so evil. Fight the good fight, Enrique.

“I’m not going to stop,” Ricky said…

J. Harvey |

Courtney Love Holds A Meeting

Here’s my favorite crazy, Courtney Love. She will just sit down beside strange men at subway stations and start jabbering and showing pictures of Francis Bean. She probably tried to take him home.

Courtney is still claiming that thieves relieved her of her deceased husband Kurt Cobain’s estate. Courtney left messages with…

J. Harvey |

Music in the Morning: The Raconteurs – ‘Salute Your Situation’

Jack White and The Raconteurs are back with another unbelievable single.

|

Weekend Rehash: Brangelina and Slime

a href=”/images/2008/03/brangelina-033108.php”>
Photos: WENN

While you were busy lounging around all weekend long, J. Harvey was working his little blog heart out for you. Here’s what you missed:

– Brad and Angelina may have gotten married, but probably not.
Slime and Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers rule at the Kids’

Michael Prieve |

Mariah Carey Just Can’t Keep Herself From Spontaneously …

Photos: BauerGriffinOnline.com

Striking a pose.

11 more photos of Mariah Carey posing in front of the George V hotel in Paris after the jump.

Miu von Furstenberg |

Katie Holmes To Use Broadway In Her Escape From Tom Cruise

Here’s Katie Holmes and captor Tom Cruise leaving Cut restaurant at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel. Katie is reportedly going to revive her career by tackling Broadway. She’s been in talks to star in a revival of Arthur Miller’s All My Sons.

Katie’s rep says “nothing is set.”

Flying saucers on…

J. Harvey |

Jake Gyllenhaal Must Be Totally Into Reese Witherspoon

Here’s Reese Witherspoon, boyfriend Jake Gyllenhaal, and her kids Ava and Deacon Phillippe at the airport in Cabo San Lucas. They’re returning from a family-type getaway. He must be pretty into her if he’s vacationing with the kids. Vacation with the kids is a whole different country than a romantic getaway. You’ve got…

J. Harvey |

Donald Trump Wants To Hire Popular Hooker Ashley Alexander Dupré

Wasn’t this show already made on VH-1 and called Charm School? Donald Trump and his weave want governor-destroying hooker Ashley Alexander Dupré on his new, as yet unnamed reality show. It’s going to take “15 hard-partying young women and send them off to a boarding school environment where they’ll learn to become more…

J. Harvey |

The Jonas Bros. Leave The Retirement Home To Attend ‘The Kids’ Choice Awards’

Little girls! Playing dress-up! What is this? Shuffleboard, anyone? Here are pictures from Nickelodeon’s Kids’ Choice Awards last night. Who is styling the children these days? Captain Merrill Stubing?

I guess I should admire the creativity, but things have gotten berserk lately. It is refreshing to see the boys wearing the…

J. Harvey |

Celebrities Endure Splosh At ‘Kids’ Choice Awards’

Nickelodeon’s Kids’ Choice Awards were held last night, and several celebrities endured getting green slime poured all over them. It’s a gunge-fest. In some circles, that’s fetish. Miley Cyrus was the big winner, earning two awards for Favorite TV Actress and Favorite Female Singer. Miley is Jesus’ homegirl. Jesus better watch out or…

J. Harvey |

Angelina Jolie And Brad Pitt Didn’t Get Married, Return Your Gifts

Photos: WENN

Star magazine was saying that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie made their dark union official in a church wedding in New Orleans on Saturday. This is interesting because they previously vowed to never marry until everyone in this country could. Meaning the homos. A source is saying there was “no wedding.”

J. Harvey |

Miley Cyrus Isn’t Trolling For Men Online

Miley Cyrus denied reports that she’s looking for beaus online. I hope not, she’s 15! She should be home watching…Hannah Montana. Wait. Well, she needs to keep her top on and her legs closed. Stick to Jesus, Miley.

We don’t need another Jamie Lynn up in this bitch. People shouldn’t be having…

J. Harvey |

Nicole Richie Remembers She Had A Kid

Harlow lives! Here’s Nicole Richie with baby Harlow at a kid’s party in Beverly Hills. Seriously, you never see this chick with her kid. I’m glad she figured out where all that crying was coming from and finally went to investigate.

“Joel, what’s this? Baby? Uh, oh wait…you mean when I was…

J. Harvey |
Page 2