2007 ASL B.S. Awards: No. 3 – Lindsay Lohan

December 29th, 2007 // 1 Comment

We are counting down the top 10 people who the ASL editors, Lisa Timmons and J. Harvey would love to Bitch Slap for their behavior in the past year. Here is the rest of the top ten.

3. Dear Linds,

My, how you’ve grown. We left “The Parent Trap” behind long ago, and now we’re into grownup stuff. Like coke parties, bathroom stall sex in rehab with other women’s men and flirtations with lesbianism! What would we expect, when we look at your parental units? 2007 was really the year you broke. Broke a tree by hitting it with your drunk ass in a car! It was also the year you basically scared everyone in Hollywood away from hiring you. What do you want, you kept doing crazy things like texting Al Gore while high and getting into a car chase with an ex-assistant’s mother while stoned out of your gourd! And then you started picking really crappy roles, like when you played an amputee stripper serial killer victim in “I Know Who Killed Me”. Which was a cinematic hot mess if there ever was one. Now you’ve been reduced to selling photos of yourself to the agencies. Is this the end? No. Something about you keeps us watching. Is it the voice scarred by way too many tokes on the pipe, or the bleach blond hair belonging to the day shift stripper at Al’s Legs N’ Eggs? Is it how your terrifying family of media sluts obviously scarred you for life? We’ll never be able to pinpoint it. What we do know is – you keep us guessing and we should never, ever use the crosswalk when you’re driving around. Successful rehab stay, my rosy Irish ass.

Check out the Lindsay Lohan 2007 photo gallery featuring over 100 photos after the jump. The Top 10 Bitch Slap Awards listees are here.

(Hint – Right-click on the image thumbnails with your mouse to open them in a new tab or window.)

By J. Harvey
asl

  1. Deborah

    A fitting choice, but still…barf.

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