Archive: Oct 2007

Cameron Diaz Finds the Secret to Healthy Skin…Finally

I have to say, Cameron Diaz is looking rather angelic in this photo set. Perhaps she’s looking heavenward, thanking God for helping her gain control over her unruly skin. Famously known for a complexion that would make a hormonal teenager cringe and look on in pity, Cameron’s recently discovered the fountain of youth–or…

Lisa Timmons |

Wanna Buy A Ghost?

Black market ghosts for sale on the streets of New York City? Only on YouTube. The relationship between a cute little pet ghost and its owner is complicated, as you can see from this video clip. It’s no “It’s The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown,” but it’s short, sweet and in the spirit of…

Wayne Ford |

ASL’s Letter From The Editor, Lisa Timmons

State of the Blog Address
First and foremost, HAPPY HALLOWEEN! I hope you guys are enjoying the season by pigging out on candy and passing out what is left to the trick-or-treaters who wander over to my apartment. Why? Because I won’t feel so bad about doing it, if I know I’m not alone. In…

Lisa Timmons |

Lauren Conrad Hits The High Seas in Knee-Highs

Yay! Pictures of celebrities in Halloween costumes. These are a few of my favorite things! Lauren Conrad, dressed as a “sexy” sailor girl (can’t forget to add that “sexy” element to your costume ladies!) deftly avoids turning this photo set into another one of my favorite things, celebrity upskirt photos–oh yeah, and whiskers…

Lisa Timmons |

How to Be a Professional Reality Show Contestant

Recognize Marcus Foy? Well, I did. In the midst of my binge of watching “I Love New York” and “A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila” intermittently, I realized that this guy is what is known fondly in the business as a “reality whore.” I recognized him from “The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency,”

Lisa Timmons |

B-List Showdown

Here’s pics from the “Park” premiere. Has anyone noticed that Cheri Oteri is trying to work the glam overtime lately? It’s your funny that makes you pretty, Cheri! Work that! Or just stand next to Ricki Lake all the time. Seriously all those trashy people she paraded around for so long appear to…

J. Harvey |

Nip/Tuck: Meta-TV

By J. Harvey

Happy Halloween, and welcome to the recap season for the scariest show on TV, “Nip/Tuck”! For those of you not in the know, let me fill you in:

Previously: The show got even more ridiculous than usual , as last season’s central arc focused on an organ…

J. Harvey |

David Beckham Keeps It Tidy

The old battleaxe in the background with the Nikon is like “You never see this outside of Roswell! Maude, come quick! They’ve landed!” Victoria Beckham spoke to Ryan Seacrest on his radio show and revealed that her husband David Beckham is a total neat freak. Send him over! Nude houseboy! You know Seacrest…

J. Harvey |

Heather Mills Brings The Drama

Paul McCartney’s worst nightmare made flesh Heather Mills appeared on Britain’s GMTV on Halloween (fitting), going for the Oscar and claiming that the world’s hounding her and she’s considered suicide as an option. Part of me says do it, and save the leg. There’s no need to waste a perfectly good prosthetic. You could make…

J. Harvey |

Thandie Newton Wants Us Thinking About Darfur Now

Who are all these women? Well, two of them are the Hanson brothers with their wives just outside the Los Angeles premier for the documentary film, “Darfur Now.” Jessica Biel, Josh Peck (of the Nickelodeon show “Drake & Josh”) and Thandie Newton were in attendance, despite the fact that the two stars featured…

Lisa Timmons |

“Unqualified with J. Harvey”

Well, I didn’t get sued the first time around. So I guess I can still do this legally. For now. This week, we have a fag hag who’s unsure if her pal is gay or not and some girl who’s kinda stank but I at least should thank her for writing in. Let’s get…

J. Harvey |

The Lohans Pretend to Be a Family

While Lindsay’s out and about doing her thing, her mom, younger sister and brother are hamming it up for reality TV. The three of them smiled big as they picked out pumpkins to celebrate upcoming Halloween festivities, all the while being filmed for their family’s reality show. From Hello! magazine:


Lisa Timmons |

Hania Barton Likes Mixing Fashion with Near Unconsciuosness

Hania Barton, troubled sister of the former “O.C.” star, Mischa Barton, has been hitting Hollywood fashion events three sheets to the wind. First, she was barred from walking the runway in designer Daniel Darhan’s fashion show over the weekend by the designer himself when she showed up to the event wasted. Most recently,…

Lisa Timmons |

Breaking News: Cute Guy From “Prison Break” Going To Prison For Four Years

Ouch. Well, you killed someone. Mistake or not, somebody’s in the ground and it was your fault. Lane Garrison has been sentenced to four years in prison for the drunk driving incident that killed a seventeen-year-old. There’s some weird irony here in that he was getting famous for playing a prisoner. There’s also…

J. Harvey |

Britney’s Assistant Spills the Beans While Britney Refuses to Promote Her Album

Britney, honey, if you’re going to wear the hooker dress, at least have the common sense to slap on some make-up. Ugh, and I just realized that she looks like she’s wearing a half-assed Ann Coulter costume. Well, a poor choice of wardrobe is the least of her problems right now, with Brit-Brit’s…

Lisa Timmons |

Caption Rick Fox

Michael Prieve |

Nicole Richie Hurriedly Empties The Ashtray, Fans The Smoke From The Room And Answers Those Accusations

Those are the worst sunglasses known to man. Someone should punch him and give them back to that ten year old in 1986. Please, you know Nicole’s been ashing butts on the heads of homeless people. Lies, lies, lies. Nicole Richie is responding to accusations that she’s been smoking while pregnant. She’ll talk…

J. Harvey |

Out Of Vegas And Into The World!

Celine Dion’s Vegas stint is over, and now she’s taking her magical French-Canadian self across the globe, to perform for her millions upon trillions of adoring fans! I’m sure there will be plenty of breast-beating and raising fists aloft and inexplicable images of clouds and attempts to forget that her hubby is like…

J. Harvey |


Here’s The Most Beautiful Woman In The World (Angelina Jolie) and Meg Ryan presenting at the International Women’s Media Foundation awards. The awards honor female journalists who have shown courage while reporting under duress, such as during war coverage, etc. So of course, everyone wore black to show how grave the situation is.

J. Harvey |
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