14?!?!

June 15th, 2007 // 63 Comments

Damn! The Most Beautiful Woman in the World told Jon Stewart of “The Daily Show” that the Jolie-Pitts might want as many as fourteen children! Double damn! She wouldn’t be saying that if they came out of her dilation area. That would be one tired opening. Angie’s getting in Mia Farrow territory. Thankfully, Brad’s not the Woody Allen-type and won’t be dating any of his adopted children.

On Thursday’s Daily Show, Jon Stewart wondered how many kids Jolie wanted in all, asking: “How high we going, you think?”

Replied Jolie: “It fluctuates between seven and 13 or 14.” The audience howled and Jolie laughed, and Stewart said, “Wow, I’ll tell you this: I admire that, because two is kicking my ass.”

Jolie quipped: “Yeah, I understand that. Four is kind of kicking our ass, but we kind of feel like, ‘Damn it, we’re up for the challenge!’ ”

Adopt the world, Angie! Jolie also talked about how she was banning certain news organizations and putting the kibosh on certain questions being asked at the premiere the other night. Angie blamed it on her rep and called it “excessive”, saying she wouldn’t have put it out there. All I wanted to say is that in solidarity with Angie’s attempts to adopt the world, I am adopting a nineteen year old blond blue eyed German named Sven who benches 225, plays rugby, and isn’t afraid to cry in the arms of a queer troll Irish gossip blogger.

(Splash)

See Angelina Jolie’s interview on “The Daily Show” after the jump.

By J. Harvey
asl

  1. lookwhaticando

    No way in 3 hells could I have 14 kids, It is hard with two, but 14!!!!!!!!!!!! No Way Dude.

  2. Sarah

    Well, if it doesn’t work out with Brad, she can always hook up with Matthew McConaughey. He told Oprah he’d like to have 14 children.

  3. T-Bone

    I’ll say it again, and again, and again –Angelina Jolie has serious unaddressed mental health issues. It sounds like she is struggling with her mom’s death, and I can empathize with her feelings on this. But there’s a longer list of problems here as well, and Angelina needs to stop adopting children and getting pregnant, and start dealing with these issues before she mentally and physically collapses. Not only that, but if she is seriously considering 13 to 14 children, someone needs to stop her. This is called collecting children, and it’s not healthy.

  4. sarah

    love how you’re keepin it legal, j! lol ;)

  5. green cardigan

    Matthew McConaughey would have to find his willy first……….sorry!

  6. Angietothemax

    I don’t think it will be that many. She said that she didn’t want to have too many children to the point that she can’t give them individual time. I think she will sponsor more children but the limit is 6 or 7.

  7. T-Bone

    The scary thing about someone like Angelina Jolie is that she has the money to do whatever she wants to do and no one can really stop her. Combine that with beauty and unaddressed mental health problems and it’s truly a frightening prospect.

  8. Linda B

    Brad tried to make her go to rehab but she said NO NO NO.

  9. sarah

    haha! so funny Linda B! Happy Friday!

  10. T-Bone

    Yeah — she and Amy Winehouse both ;)

  11. anon

    T-Bone – you rock!

  12. T-Bone

    Thanks anon, although you know you’ll be accused of being me. I think you rock too, in the nicest way ;)

  13. Kate

    Yeah, what she should do instead is take a leaf out of Britney’s book. Fuck the kids, leave her panties at home and go out every single night. Because that’s commendable. To hell with do-gooders who have the money and desire to help other people.

  14. green cardigan

    You know AJ could almost be Amy’s twin…they’ve got the tattoos and thinnessin common…

  15. T-Bone

    Kate – did you get lost? I thought this was about Angelina Jolie. Surely you know in your heart that no one out here condones child neglect, which is why we’re commenting on this in the first place. AJ can barely keep her own head above water, let alone 7 to 14 children. If lookwhaticando can admit that 14 children is absurd, I’m sure you can as well. These two are EXTREMELY busy hollywood movie stars and there is NO WAY in h*ll they can give the attention needed to a brood like that. Donate money? Sure. Support children? Sure. Adopt? AH NO.

  16. SARAH

    green cardigan said:
    Matthew McConaughey would have to find his willy first……….sorry!
    __________________________________________________________
    Even if he did find it, I’m sure he shoots blanks! That boy smoke A LOT of pot! And who knows what else.

  17. Dumbass said:
    Yeah, what she should do instead is take a leaf out of Britney’s book…To hell with do-gooders who have the money and desire to help other people.

    ========================================

    Kate,
    Try not to be too obtuse. Seriously, grow up.

  18. Sadly, the fact that this woman has more money than god and she buys these poor kids from 3rd world countries that would sell you their own kids, if Ange wants 14, she’ll get 14.

  19. Adoptive Mom

    Does Sven have a brother? I’ve got a bed waiting!

  20. green cardigan

    just getting my little brain around the maths here…..if they want up to 14 children, that is pretty much 1 adoption or pregnancy a year for the next decade. She’ll be 42 and Brad’ll be in an asylum for the deranged. She can’t be serious.

  21. Angietothemax

    I don’t think it’s 14. I think they just exaggerate because they do want a big family. However, it has yet to be proven that she or Brad are neglectful parents. Also people act like she’s a single parent and she’s not Brad is just as responsible and just as accountable as Angie is. Right now she’s working and Brad has the bulk of the parenting and then it will be her turn when Brad starts to work again.

  22. Green Cardigan,
    No worries. Brad won’t be lonely, 7-8 of those 14 kids will be in the asylum with daddy.

    I think Lisa Rowe here could use some shocks FUR REAL Ya’LL!

  23. T-Bone

    Angelina is a like a 10 year old girl trying to get attention. Tell her no and she wants to do it even more. Tell her she shouldn’t and she tells herself she should. Tell her she can’t and she sets out to prove that she can. Whatever…
    Maybe everyone should start saying “oh Angie, you should have 30 kids, you’re so capable”. And then she won’t. It’s like reverse psychology with children.

  24. green cardigan

    Worn Out Nanny : Please Ms Jolie, no more children, the house is over run, Mr Pitt has locked himself in his bedroom and won’t come out, and all the other nannies joined a union, and are on strike. They’re picketing outside on the front lawn….

    Ms Jolie : Get one of the minnions to fuel the jet. NOW!!! I’ll fly to Outer Mongolia MYSELF and pick up Trex ….

  25. T-Bone

    “Trex”
    ___________________________________

    Hilarious!

  26. Ugh

    Attention, attention, attention……..that’s all she craves. I don’t think she likes kids, just found something she can buy and bring more attention to herself. Can you imagine growing up around something like her? OMG, and it has to be scary to see your mom with ink all over her like she’s taken one of your crayons and gone nuts. If you’re guess I don’t like this skank, you’re right.

  27. green cardigan

    Ms Jolie : God Almighty! Is that jet ready yet? Tell Brad to turn down that Justin Timberlake music,get dressed and get out here NOW!! How many times do I have to tell him to stop playing Maddox’s cds?? Nanny ! Round up children, use the intercom if you have to. C’mon, Trex is waiting, I want to be half way over the Atlantic by night fall.

  28. peachpie

    well, i really could give two flips whether she has 4 or 44 kids… or whether she issued a restrictive contract or her bonehead attorney did. whatevs. what does interest..err..entertain me is the number of absurdly ridiculous comments any AJ post gets! wowza — who knew that so many of ASL’s commenters know AJ personally and know her and Brad’s plans for having more kids; such insight into their lives and how they think. simply astounding!

  29. Kare Bear

    I cannot keep up with all the articles about these two anymore. All I can really say is this chick truely is a media whore. She is crazy but on top of crazy she is manipulative. EVERY move she makes is extremely calculated. Between all the bullshit that she runs on the public, you know how every interview she does she spills all kinds of information an later either retracts that information or contridicts it. The children are her toys, her cute little puppets.

    I feel for these kids. They are victims, why adopt if you cannot provide the care needed. These kids are being adopted to be passed to the nannies, this is simply ridiculous.

    T-Bone & Green I love when I’ve been busy all day & I come back to read all the comments and for the most part I can’t say much more than what has been addressed by the two of you, oh & Zekers…I appreciate the realistic, logical evaluations that each of you come up with. I’m still trying to determine who named Angie “the World’s Most Beautiful Woman” I think “the World’s Most Psychotic Woman” is far more appropriate.

    14 children I’m sorry that is just downright disgusting. What are they going to do have a rotation schedule?

  30. OH!!! Let’s all take a part!! T-Bone, you’re Brad! Green Cardigan, you do a wonderful Angie. I’ll take the nanny!!!

    All of icantseeshit’s alias’ can be the kids!!

    (Love “Trex”! That’s funny! I get a visual of a dinasour in space!)

  31. green cardigan

    Great idea Clarisse! We can do a play. Broadway here we come !

  32. Kare Bear

    Oh yeah how could I have forgotten Clarisse? Another logical sensible person. Fun fun I can’t wait to see how you all spin this skit ;) Trex-LOL

  33. green cardigan

    I think the opening scene should be in the cockpit of the jet, with Ange at the controls, looking pensive and fabulous, steering the jet towards Trex, then straight to Scene Two : Main cabin, Brad passed out with a bottle of Tequila in his lap, the kids going mental….

  34. flyhigh

    She looks Jennifer Aniston in that first picture – with that pseudo smile that makes her nose and chin look funny.

  35. T-Bone

    Wait – am I Brad?

  36. green cardigan

    T Bone – yes, its an easy part. Just look vacant and say ‘duhhhhh’ every now and again

  37. Awesome!

    Each character can cover a classic Broadway tune!!!

    “Losing My Mind” sung by Pax
    “The Impossible Dream” sung by Shiloh
    “Big Spender” sung by cast to Angelina
    “Anything Goes” sung by Angelina
    “Memory” sung by John Voight
    “Almost Like Being In Love” sung by Brad Pitt
    “Everything’s Coming Up Roses” sung the Loonies
    “Sue Me” sung by various papp’s

  38. T-Bone

    Brad: Wakes up from Tequila black out and looks out the window in a panic.

    “OH MY GOD ANGIE, WHERE ARE WE?? YOU SLIPPED ANOTHER MICKEY IN MY TEQUILA DIDN’T YOU? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU TAKING US NOW?????

  39. Over worked Nanny: peeks out from under the 1st class seat.

    “She’s taking us to get another one sir. Heard #34 is from Nambia. Or was that Narnia? Sir, i’m tired! Can we just lock da cage for a 1/2 hour?”

  40. T-Bone

    Brad whispers to Nanny…

    WE NEED TO TAKE OVER THE WHEEL, BUT I CAN’T THINK OF HOW BECAUSE I’M THAT DUMB!

  41. green cardigan

    ANGE : OI ! Order in the ranks ! we are cruising now at a comfortable 2000 feet. Zahara ! Get away from those controls. This plane is NOT a toy.

  42. T-Bone

    Brad gets on his knees and begs Angie…

    PLEASE ANGIE! NOT ANOTHER CHILD! I’ll do anything! I’ll take care of Z, Shiloh, PAX, and MAD for the next 3 years and I won’t take another job, if you just turn the plane around! AND ANGIE — PLEASE GET THE PLANE HIGHER THAN 2000 feet, because we’re going to hit a kid on a bike!

  43. Over worked Nanny:
    Sir, i don’t know how to fly a plane! I’m a nanny!! Sir, Maddox is taking your pot bowl again.

    NO, NO Miss, i was not the one that untied #11 from the radiator! She chewed through the rope! I swear!

    Yes Miss. No Miss, i don’t smell it, but i’ll hose the bunch down again.

  44. Kare Bear

    Zahara: Shut up Angie you might have bought me but you DON’t own me!!! I run this show.

  45. green cardigan

    Ange : Put a sock in it Dumbass ! I’m the REAL humanitarian here. If I say we’re going to get Trex, then we’re going to get Trex. Pass out the cherrios to the kids, they haven’t eaten since we passed over Portugal. Then call Fox News. I want this one COVERED worldwide.

  46. T-Bone

    Brad — spinning in circles with his hands over his ears..

    AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! ANGIE PLEASE!!! I KNOW I’M PUSSY-WHIPPED BUT I’M NOT BLIND! DOES YOUR ITINERARY SAY “GOING TO AUSTRALIA TO ADOPT AN ABORIGINE”

  47. Hey! Someone stole my line!

  48. Kare Bear

    Clarisse I think EVERYONE is having a field day with this one!!!

    Zahara: EXXXXXXCUUUUSE ME Angie, I TOLD you I wanted the next one to match me. Now turn this plane around immediately we are going to Kenya, I have made all the arrangements.

  49. T-Bone

    Brad crying with head in hands…

    TREX IS AN ABORIGINE, ANGIE?????? AN AUSTRALIAN ABORIGINE? SHOULD WE REALLY TAKE HIM FROM HIS HOMELAND?

    Enters MAD…
    SHUT UP BRAD! MY MOM CAN DO ANYTHING…. (throws back head and laughs)

  50. green cardigan

    ANGE : Shiloh you can take over flying for a while. I’m going to prepare my clothes for the Outer Mongolian’s ambassador reception tomorrow, and then catch 40 winks. Jeez, Brad better stay sober for that one. Or I’ll boot his ass from here to next week. Shy, if you see any rocks, swerve sharply to port side. Here’s your night time bottle.

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